"Hi, my name's Julian.. and I'm really scared of pads.."
After the first dance at Rollins Term II 2016 and karaoke night and TIPSync, Tipster Jenna Rouse lost her voice. Dunno where it went. Anyway, she sounded like a 12 year old boy going through puberty. One day while her and Crab Squad were standing in a particularly long line for lunch, while conversing, they got on the subject of guys and why they don't like periods, pads, tampons, etc. Somewhere in the chat Jenna first stated the sentence that sparked the whole story: "Hi, my name's Julian.. and I'm really scared of pads because when I was 7 my sister drew a scary monster on the pad and threw it at my face." The character was meant to be a male version of Jenna, hence the name Julian. Eventually the this little skit became known as "Julian's Story". Each time it was told extra sprinkles of plot were added onto it. It's final form became:
"Hi, my name's Julian.. and I'm really scared of pads because when I was 7 my sister drew a scary monster on the pad and threw it at my face. She said she was sorry.. but I-- don't think she was. And my mother says to be [insert angry drill sergeant voice] 'JULIAN WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR SISTER!' and my sister says to me 'JULIAN WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE MANLY'."
Jenna went on to say this to everyone she knew at TIP, and even strangers. Asking "Hey, do you want to hear Julian's story?!?" Even going as far in debating whether she should do this skit for the TIP Talent Show (sadly she didn't). From their TIPster Taylor Schols went on to create her own persona, Tyler. His story was:
"Hi, my name is Tyler. I'm one of the bros and Julian can't be one of the bros! [Insert Julian crying in his cracky puberty voice 'WHY?'] I love Julian though, he's my best friend [Insert Julian sniffling and saying 'I love you too Tyler']. I keep Julian away from the bros because I don't want him to become jerky like them. I like to sing along to Meghan Trainer in my truck."
To which Julian's story evolved with:
"I liked to ride around in Tyler's big, green truck and listen to Meghan Trainer with him. I like his truck because it smells like flowers."
Eventually another TIPster in the Crab Squad, Brooklynn, made her persona, Brendon. This is where the originality of the characters dipped down into strictly nerdy guys going through puberty with weird habits. Brendon's story was:
"Hi, my name is Brendon and I like ducks and goats because they're cute. I haTE TYLER THOUGH. HE'S A JERK. HE KICKED MY PET DUCK OUT OF HIS TRUCK. [Insert a frustrated Tyler defending that he did not kick Brandon's duck, and a confused and sobbing Julian asking why Tyler would kick a poor duck. To which Tyler replies that he didn't, calming Julian's nerves]. I WANTED TO KEEP IT, BUT HE SAID "Noooooo Brendon. You cant keep it". I am also the Duke of the Ducks and if you betray me, I'll make them bite your fingers. My brother says I can't be anything in life if I work with ducks. But he's wrong. So I sent the duck mafia at him. We haven't seen him in 3 years...."
And finally the last member of Crab Squad, Ariana, created her persona Andrew. Andrew is just a big ol' nerd in general. His story didn't develop much but good lord is it beautiful:
"Hi my name is Andrew, I like Google Chrome and memes. My mom buys me bubblegum toothpaste because mint is too spicy. I asked my grandma for grape soda but she didn't buy it for me because it's unhealthy."