August Moore

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Don't tell me what to do!

August Moore can be summed up very few words, namely "Don't tell me what to do!"

A Basic Summary of August's Exploits

August, who would respond to any month of the year (think 'May') or any excellent pun on his name (think 'Augustus Waters') was a great dealer of insults and a notoriously late RAG member. A man of many, completely wrong words, August was tolerated (edit: respected) by Trevor's RAG for his many talents, though burglary and chanting Doggy Doggy Doggy were not among them. The greatest characteristic of August was his quasi-lawyer abilities, which, at orientation his 4th year, led to the famous quote, "I'm gonna cut you off right there" by Shaun in response to August's query about the cell phone policy. August, however portrayed elsewhere, was above all an excellent human being (except his ideas on certain topics, and he knows what this is talking about.)

The Great Phone Jail Escape

It was a dark and stormy day, much like every other day at Duke TiP East Term One. The scene was set: August had gotten his phone confiscated a day earlier by an unnamed RC, and was anxious to reclaim it. According to his roommate, August had a certain gleam in his eye, though this has not been confirmed. In any case, as he walked towards Basset to get his phone, he (probably was not) premediating what he was going to do. He walked into the office, and as he walked in, he heard Natalie say "get what you need from the office." August, in true form, muttered "challenge accepted." It was then when all hell broke loose.

As it was later retold, August walked in, and being one lucky idiot, guessed the combination to phone jail on the first try. In even truer TiP form, the combination to the lock was 000. The details at this point are a little murky. According to his (awesome) roommate once again, August pulled on the lock. To his great surprise, it opened. He allegedly stood up and proclaimed, "[RC], I opened the lock. Can you reach in and get my phone for me?"

Unsurprisingly, the staff member was displeased. He/she retorted, "August, you probably shouldn't have done that" as he/she reached for the phone. At this point, it would be fair to debate whether August was justified in doing so. However, it gets worse.

Later that day, August went to the office to apologize for other, unimportant actions. Jonathan, the OSD, discussed his punishment, then randomly brought up August's unlocking of the jail. What they said is unclear, but regardless, August's phone was taken for 48 hours, and he was put on extreme probation. However, when main office found out, things got worse. In order to deter others from doing so, as August relatively unsurprisingly had spread it around, they changed the lock. At least, they should have. Instead, they decided to make an example of August, who had been brought forth at the same time as Bo. Originally, at least, August recieved the same punishment as Bo: 3 days in Solitary Confinement. This meant August couldn't participate in anything other than class, which he later said made him "get to know Jonathan a lot better." This meant that he also skipped Quadfest and a dance, which he was not exceptionally excited about. It did, however, mean that he got to read a lot more than usual, which he says was a fairly good thing.

Doggy Doggy Doggy...

August, unlike so many before him, evidently did not pay enough attention to Doggy Doggy Doggy. And of course, due to his complete lack of common sense, he decided to lead the chant, two days before the end of term. As the room went quiet, August, part of a group led primarially by him (a loud voice naturally carries), he started to chant.

"Doggy Doggy Doggy!" "Woof, Woof Woof!," the room responded. "Doggy Doggy Doggy!" "Woof, Woof Woof!" "Doggy!" "Woof!" "Doggy!" "Woof!"

Now, as August started to chant back, he ruined (not actually) the atmosphere and the respect the fourth years garnered forever. Instead of the usual Doggy Doggy Doggy, he chanted, HOW DO WE DO IT? in the loudest voice possible.

The room went quiet for a split second. Then, steadily gaining momentum, the greenies erupted in booing. August was even ostracized from the group he was in, as the valiant group tried desperately to quiet the booing. But it was to no avail. The respect was lost forever.