Church of Max
The Church of Max was a religion established at Davidson Term 1 2004. The church met on Sundays and preached the wisdom of . Headed by Max and Mopph, the church gained quite a following as TIP progressed.
The No Commandments
Among the church's teachings were the No Commandments, written by Nobody Himself. They are as follows:
- Nobody is a god.
- Nobody created the earth.
- Nobody can perform amazing miracles.
- Nobody was president before George Washington.
- Nobody created the Somebodies and the Everybodies.
- To achieve enlightenment follow the morals of nobody:
- - “ He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me, he killed me.” Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate.
- - He who gives in to temptations suffers in Nobody’s world.
- - Those who advance in this path of morals which Nobody preaches, in the end reach NOVANA.
- Nobody loves you.
- Nobody cares about spelling.
- Nobody cares about punctuality.
- Nobody went to TIP.
- Nobody cares about food and drink.
- Only Nobody can tear down the sign.
- Everyone has had sex with Nobody.
The Story of Creation: As Told By Nobody
Read by Max at the first meeting, this is how our world came to be:
"In the beginning, there was Nobody. Nobody is a god. Nobody looked around and then Nobody said, “let there be light.” Then, Nobody created the earth. Some might ask here, “who was nobody talking to?” Well, Nobody was hosting a dinner party. To make a long story short, Nobody created people, Nobody controls everyone, and Nobody is always watching you. As witnessed by many, Nobody can perform amazing miracles. Nobody causes miraculous phenomenon such as the aerora borealis and the rising of the sun. This is unbelievable, but I can assure you it is the work of Nobody. You, perhaps knowingly or unknowingly, have probably had experiences with Nobody before. Try to remember a time when you were in the bathroom, in your room, in an elevator, or even reading a book. If you raised your head you would see Nobody. I, myself have had many experiences with Nobody. Sometimes I will talk to Nobody and Nobody will answer! The U.S. government even acknowledges that Nobody exists, when they admitted the true statement, “Nobody…pres” To reach NOVANA, you must pray to Nobody and worship nobody. Nobody knows the true path to enlightenment. If you do not worship Him, Nobody will punish you. Nobody has created you, and you should be thankful to Nobody."
Members of the Church of Max included:
- Max himself
- Mopph ____
- Doug ____
- Erin Heim
- Brett Flora
- Neil ____
- Sarah Langley
- Makenzie Pryor
- Laura Briscoe
- The other (female) Max
- Rachel Marcus
- And many others (if anyone remembers anyone else, please add their name to the list.)
(It should be noted that at the last meeting of the Church of Max, Mopph tore down the sign and thus became Nobody.)