Fourth Year Wills 2019
I, YaYa Kagiliery, of completely insane mind and hot pink body hereby leave to the following; 2017 PCULT; yawps, oak trees, MacBeth and all that it entails, fried chicken (especially if it's from a pocket), phenomenal legs, and of course, Kengis Khan. To T REV: I give you proletariat revolutions, communist memes, a bi icon, a guillotine, all my love, and the eternal belief that you will all do amazing things. To Tyler; I leave you the personal growth that I know you will experience, I leave you a bad boy but a good man. I give you a spot on wet dreams and my frisbee skills. I finally also give you the password to Jack’s my eye’s only. Be good. To Jamie; I leave you the good sense to choose right and wrong and many frisbee skills, use it all well. To Ava; I leave you my relic and the responsibility it brings. I give you the ability to take things to heart and to let them roll off your back. I grant you the wisdom to know when to do either. I leave you leadership and class, and the best fourth year you could ever want, I know you will do great things. Be good (not too good) and spend your time wisely. To Nushana; I leave all that nasty shit and Chris. To Arnav; I leave American food, particularly corndogs. To Anna; I leave lots of love and your authentic self. You are amazing sweet girl and I cannot wait to see who you become. To Sydney; I leave you the fact that you and Emma will be the last kids on campus who remember REVT, you remember our jokes, our conversations, and that amazing class. I leave you the most wonderful 4th year and all the inside jokes, love, and success. To Emma; I leave you the stewardship of REVT and an amazing 4th year. Love as much as you can and make as many friends as possible! You are such a sweet girl and I hope that never changes! To Shelby; I leave you the ability to bend AC’s will to your own, politics and agreement, a 1.5 hour drive and all tipunions we can have. I will definitely see you soon. To Trinity; I leave you first and foremost all my love. Stick and poke tattoos, a good boyfriend, negative pregnancy tests, our 2019 tipsync win, many tip unions, plenty of market place coffee, and all the lingerie you could find online. To Andrew; I leave you your sweet smile and cute dimples! You are such a good guy and my only regret is not getting to know you better and sooner. I leave you a spot on Water Colors and Wet Dreamz! Never change, sweet boy. To Brooke: I leave you the most amazing life with all the positivity you can handle, I leave you our four year glow up and all that we have learned about ourselves and each other, I give you all my love and Beyonce, and lucky charms. To Maggie; I leave you all the unopened doors, yelling at greenies, Southern Culture, and the complicated geopolitics that it entails. I also leave you the wish that we had become friends sooner. I love you very much and I am so lucky to have gotten to spend these short three weeks with you. To Lorena: I leave you TRev and quickness, long nails, all the noises that anyone can make and I leave you the ability to move on from what hurts you and to embrace your future which is so so bright. To Billy: I leave you angry rants of the field, your fifth year, sweeping and flipping eights and bad timing. To Alex Titia: I leave you all my frisbee dubs, late night ramen, letters, self medicating, the word ‘hun,’ therapy, and the good sense that the good lord gave you. Thank you for teaching my the importance of quick wit and the power of silence. To Sarah; I leave you all our first year memories and the car that you’ve bought. I loved getting to know you and I wish you all the best. To Sydney: I leave you Jack and Dayne, as well as getting that dick. To Natalia; I leave you all the late night coffee you can drink and a clean roommate. To Adrea; I leave you curly hair, makeup, and utter confidence. To Will; I leave our many interesting times and conversations, our personal growth, frisbee, height, the hope that one day timing may work out, hand grenades, and the belief that you deserve well. Thank you for teaching me a lot about myself and even more about others. More than all else I appreciate the opportunity to practice the sense that the good lord gave me. Thank you and I wish you the best. To Sam; I leave you a good beard and a tan. Thanks for all the frisbees, I appreciate the time. All the best. To John; I leave you 7 on 8 frisbee games and the patience to deal with the greenies. To Creighton: I leave you a girlfriend and being a fetus, thanks for all the games, my dude. To Kathrine: I give you the dummy thichest of them all. To Greyson: I leave a phenomenal flick and a thick ass. To Maxx; I give you rompers, wall twerking, snorting pixie sticks, long frisbee games, and herpes To Milye: I leave you the best fourth year roommate ever, breakfast, popsicle deep throating, the regret that we didn’t meet earlier, and that eternal smile of yours. To Skippy: I leave you our slow dance, titties, a lower rice purity score, frisbee skills, a woah in times of sadness, and the charisma I know you have. To AC; I leave you incorrect first impressions, a 54 on the rice purity test, school parking lots, french rap, my country music, Yahlok, little finger waves, purple flowers, my camera roll, the dingy bowling alley, archetypal tipsters, a girlfriend back home, bad timing, a spot on wet dreamz, my three pointer, my ankles, a picture of that same house, a hickey, Yee Yee, a kink, vanilla, Bird Box, and the hope that you will do great things. Stay away from crack, embrace your future, and know that I am happy to have gotten to know you. In a last ditch effort, I also leave you emotional attachment, to anyone or thing, solely to prove to you that it is possible. You are one of the few people I will truly miss from this term. Timing is a bitch my friend. To Jack (Big Tex); I leave you all the hammer throughs and frisbee moments, the “easy baby”s in a thick southern accent, the state of Texas, and Tyler. I leave you show choir and all the Broadway shows you can handle. I leave you Georgetown, my vote for whatever election you enter, the internal sense of optimism I’ve developed, and your utter gift with words. I give you someone who supports you and understands the greater things you are destined for. I leave you the shirts and frisbees you’ve given me and the hope that one day I’ll see you again. When I think of people who have made me who I am, your names comes up. Thank you for all that you have taught me. I leave you plane tickets to come visit me and all my love in it’s most twisted form. To Katrina, my love; There is so much I want to give you but I know I will not be able to write it all now. First, I leave you my frisbee skills and hoops, I give you a sub 7:30 2K and a scholarship to Columbia, I will see you there. I leave our countless house parties and rants, our love of tip and your intense passion in all that you do. I leave you our third year squad, Sophia Pan, and platonic lesbians. I give you each and every frisbee you have dropped and every picture Seth has ever sent me. Your eternal sense of optimism amazes me and I hope you never lose that. I will miss you more than you know. I leave you the most amazing life and all the good that this world has to offer because I know that you deserve it. You will do great things my dear friend and I can’t wait to see it all. I will see you again, and I will always be here for a laugh, a tear, whatever life throws at us. I may not be with you, but I will always be here for you I love you sweet girl. To the 2020 relic holders: I leave you good sense, the opportunity to fuck up admin and to have a wonderful time. To anyone I forgot; Please know that I love you all so very much and I have come to say that I feel the most myself around you. I apologize for any wrongs and celebrate the laughs, Each and everyone of you has impacted me in ways I cannot begin to describe. We have such bright futures ahead, so chin up my friends. Let the tears fall and the smiles last, the future is bright. Look up, but never back. I love you. To the greenies; It hits different in orange. Enjoy every damn moment because it doesn’t last. Love fast, dive head first, and forgive quickly. You have just 12 short weeks here, so spend them wisely. Yesterday, I was an over eager first year taking on Wake Forest. I now sit with an orange lanyards with a week and a half left to go till my time with you all is up. There is a certain sadness to the end of this time in my life, just as there is sadness in all ends. But, my young friends, there is also great hope. Hope for what comes next, hope for the future. So if we were friends or not, if you liked me or not, my hope is not only in my future but also in yours. Hold on to your time here and cherish it but do not dwell. Live in the moment and take it all in. It goes by much too fast and soon you will be left only with snapchat streaks, tshirts, and memories. Make it all count and love a lot It hits different in orange, wear the color well.
I, Brooke Huffman, of moon loving mind and dummy thicc body bequeath the following to:
- Adrea Norrell- a notebook of depressing poetry, the Hamilton soundtrack, bagel bite parties, flying fucks to fuck, and a shitload of stories about condoms.
- Alessandro- the coolest sunglasses ever, and my heart :)
- Audrey Goff- the entire moon, friendship bracelets, and so much love!!!
- Ava Mandoli- jokes about good ol’ St. Louis, the nickname ghetto girl, some Amazing photography (seriously, your work is absolutely stunning), two shared RAGs, the reunion we are yet to have, toasted ravioli, and my absolute awe at how much you’ve changed over the past four years, we love a growing queen.
- Ava Roark- sour patch kids, and some Cool pink shoes :)
- Boden Brindell- a loving daughter that misses you, as many cans of LaCroix as you can consume, money to zoom zoom on the cosmic freeway, some spiders to munch on, an indie movie poster comprised of you, me, and Noah, and a reminder to call every now and then.
- Braden (McMakin) Borbely- one 22 foot Branus, “Who did the yeetster, cause I did the gay,” check yourself before you shrek yourself, our adorable little family tree, our fourth year fuck party, the orgy we are yet to have, and all of my pride (no pun intended) in being led by an amazing leader like you.
- Chris Winters- spare coochie, a fifth of my gummy worms, intense vibrations, my hoe lifestyle, Garrick’s legacy (yikes), and your amazing jokes because holy shit you made me Laugh.
- Connor Deagle- iFunny memes.
- Devak Nanda- Stacy’s Mom on repeat, pancakes to compare my tits to, all the pot you can smoke, all the shit you missed third and fourth year, and loud kazoo noises.
- Emma Peters- a hateful glowing night orb, reinforced vocal cords, Daddy B Duke’s list of fetishes and kinks, the joy of being the first third year that you met, and the knowledge that you will continue my legacy and be the best damn moonscreamer yet.
- Evelyn- the Cutest outfits (from spirit week to daily wear), the most adorable water bottle i have ever seen, and all of my love!! please keep in touch kiddo!!
- Garrick Reeder- endless 0 days without a fire, a giant strap-on for Daddy B Duke, Percy Jackson D&D campaigns, “Aw, bless it,” tumblr police, slightly (very) problematic statements, “This is heresy!”, formally written emails, advice that seems to help you out, satisfying sounding keyboards, a better love life than you currently have, grooming greenies, the ability to wing anything, memes from private Instagram accounts, and the award for most iconic phrases.
- Grey Olsen- Kwerky Kim, birthday GreySMR, Bre’s hatred (she won’t admit it but we still know), the Best jokes, rights, and an extraordinary amount of sass.
- Greyson Wisdom- dancing to Despacito, any game involving playing cards, kitchen chats about illegal substances, post tip facetimes and friendship, and shaved legs.
- Harper Wood- a blue tile that started it all, an entire cult to run, cornformists, and relationship advice (never trust a wolf in sheep furry clothing).
- John Penry- the ability to bless the rains down in Africa, a thousand sheep for your sexual pleasure, some giraffes to photograph, getting back with Heather, the chance to not go MIA, fingers to point and laugh at you, a new girlfriend you actually talk to, and an apology for giving you so much shit.
- Josh Rubel- peanuts (as well as everything else you’re allergic to), regular bullying, rights (I guess), our marriage, and the ability to keep in touch with me dummy.
- Katherine Lawson- my love and affection, an insane riffing ability, the gift of being one of the most Talented theater kids I’ve ever met, our Northwestern college journey together, and the knowledge that you are a literal fairy, in every sense of the word.
- Katherine Nikolich- vodka!, sitting on your lap, a Wholesome viewing of Coco (because you make me un poco loco), and mental erase of everything that happened after TipSync, weed boy, my gay love, and a million other things I can’t think of because I love you so much.
- Katrina Csaky- a shitload of throbbing hearts, toys (with me, ha!), the ability to take it back, a loving moon to always watch over you, the knowledge that you are sensational, philosopher queens, and a billion rivers and a billion roads.
- Kavi- soft hair to pet, the most Kind heart I have ever witnessed, actually good contributions to our class discussions (unlike Garrick’s rambling), and the wish that we would’ve had more time to get to know each other.
- Kiran Kadiyala- ramen noodles, some bros for Bassett, a loud screech when you leave (in the middle of the goddamn talent show), induction into the brohood hall of fame, and a thousand ‘i miss you’s.
- Lily Martin- the nickname kiddo, no more time for yourself, a deep love for others, the ability to comfort like nobody else, a dainty lil flower, and my legacy to carry on (you’ll do amazing bb).
- Lily Shytle- a million thank you's for everything you've helped me through, beautiful poetry, an endless supply of diet cokes, and your biggest fan.
- Lily Smith- one murdered balloon child, infinite kisses from Laird, a mutual hatred for an RC, a temporary roommate and the mutual agreement that Taylor is the ultimate RC (except maybe Ren).
- Lorena Watson- virgin gayness, fuzzy socks, *oof noise*, some airpods to flex on me with, the most Amazing manicure, the Exact same opinions (I’m 98% sure we’re the same person honestly), Doug Island, gay sex on the shit field, this island and my journey.
- Lucy Colangelo- Will, origami, and Megan’s shitty rag.
- Maddie Peronto- an infinite supply of drawn on eyebrows, all of the change I owe you for late night vending machine runs, the perfect boyfriend that is not a sheep furry, a lifetime of concussions, every single fucking relic, our old houseparty calls, the opportunity to visit Noah C consistently, tig ol bitties, that car wash in the middle of the street, and my best female friendship.
- Maggie Randle- the pet name wifey, stolen scrunchies, the ability to tell any greenie to fuck off, our giant wedding and the many cuddle puddles we did not get to have, and a time machine so we could’ve gone back and met each other during third year.
- Megan Vaz- a singular dance third year (I’m sorry about my breakdown), cheese pizzas (just cheese, no sauce), jokes about capitalism, and your exposed titty.
- Noah C Cornelius- a fan club president awaiting your new single, a thousand greenies for you to give your snap to, another group chat (this time on Snapchat), the hope that I spread your music far and wide, a new generation of Noah C fans, and the hope that we see each other again.
- Noah Risley- one attention whore that needs constant love and affection, your happy place (also known as Dragonvale), the best hugs I have ever received, one quadruple text, a daddy kink, the hope to continue your legacy, a gender neutral mug from the campus store, the Pout Pout fish, the many emails you (luckily) never had to write, the name Yo Soy LaCroix, and a conflicted maybe (not a no, unless, not a no, but later, but also not just a no).
- Raguell Couch- your own bad jokes to laugh at, an apology for dealing with me in both our RAG and our class, killer manicures, and the wish that you could’ve been there second and third year.
- Reece Overholt- the Corn Squad group chat, Snapchatted pictures of half of our faces, awkward conversations that end abruptly, an apology for probably letting you down by being a part of Watercolors, hyping up our boy Sam, and the regret of not getting to know you while we were both at TiP.
- Rishi Sekhar- stand up comedy routines involving Kleenexes, a long talk after a weird fundatory full of icebreakers, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (my personal copy), my first introduction to John Mulaney (I didn't even realize it was him at that point), unbelievable knowledge of movies, good advice you've given me and okay advice that I’ve given you, more! facetimes! and plane tickets to visit the US so I can see you again.
- Ronald Doe- a hug from your favorite greenie, unlimited Power Rangers movies, Sprite Cranberry, ugly photos sent via snapchats, spicy memes, an apology for leaving you on read (I swear I never mean to), and an application to be my main hoe.
- Ryan Hess- babes, hotties with bodies, important vids, Big Time Rush, bopping to Noah C, that awkward house party with you know who, Colton 2.0, “He doesn’t even have a jawline!”, balloon baptisms, the Wobble, the Wop, your obsession with Skippy the Seventh, “Take it off,” every pair of shoes you’ve borrowed, crying over disgustingly large cockroaches, something that doesn't taste good but still gets the job done, a visit to St. Louis that doesn’t include my mother, Shannon’s roses and thorns and buds, Gulliver’s Travels, the porn we plan on making, and 5 hits of a dab pen.
- Sam King- gasoline to make job quick, peanut butter, matching tattoos, thirteen hour skype calls, a million attempts to interest you, Yustin’s reacting dick, every fanfic we’ve generated, my horrible frisbee game, the nickname Mas (may it rest in peace), Zendaya is Meechee triggered breakdowns, nightly facetimes year round, Thungus, ginger jokes (it fills their holes), Jello Snarfle, a dick of lies, nightly poetry that only lasted three nights, the Magic House, children on leashes, the ability to make me uncomfy, Shrek’s dominance, ugly ass clout goggles, a shit ton of feet pics, Popstar’s deleted scenes, no more aggbbbbs, a thicc red rocket, a welcome back to Total Drama Island, one hard pp, the difference between roulette and russian roulette, an entire season of Disenchanment, my pink sunglasses, an exploded bean bag (call me bean), unlimited credits at Bowlero, and one wedding at forty.
- Saranna- a shared birthday, and a fourth year!!!
- Shelby Balmer- sauceless pizzas, gay crushes, the ability to rant whenever and wherever, bisexual nods, every relic (share with Maddie), and my phone number at the hopes you’ll use it.
- Skippy Seufert- true love, that lil pink camera, staying in touch, our relationtip, and the wish that we would’ve gotten to know each other before our last year.
- Søren Creecy- plane tickets to St. Louis, digested tulip petals, one matching tattoo, shattered vocal cords from shouting up at the moon, sweaty hand-holds, hunger games roleplay, and the hope that I made you proud this term.
- Sydney Rendahl- an invitation to the family reunion from your favorite cousin, being the ultimate girl crush of second year (but I was a “straightie” then lol), iconic high ponytails, the ultimate makeup game, and a reminder to text me back.
- Tate Clemons- endless no u’s, the title of the prettiest gay, a duel for your affection, stories of my New York adventures, Starkid stories, something you don’t know, tulips with an anonymous owner, and the joy of being your friend, because you’re such an amazing human being :)
- Will Hodge- Lucy, our intense abortion debate, the title of Baby Mama, and a Wake 2016 reunion!!
- Will Snider- the hope that you get laid, a gay tribe all awaiting your leadership, beating meat on toilet seats, and someone who is so happy to have been your friend.
- Yaya Kagiliery- motherfucking lucky charms, a song about Bojangles, the chorus of Who Run the World (Girls), the tradition of writing letters, an apology for almost making us lose Ultimate, and the knowledge that you are a badass.
- Yustin Willis- emo poses, licking sticks, superlative rebellions, a ruler with a mark at 5 ½ inches, Donkey from Shrek, the title of Lil’ D, a watch so you can be on time next year, a surfboard at the off chance you might use it, the capital of Texas, the ability to answer my fucking facetimes, and a cute lil crush you wouldn’t admit that you had last year (next time ask me to the dance dummy).
- Wake Forest Term 2, 2016- Pokémon Go, Dev! Dev! Dev! Dev!, the beginnings of my thotty journey, a cult y'all know you loved, my first glimpse at how amazing a summer could be, and The Princess Bride.
- TK’s RAG- Beyonce, Bojangles, and bowling.
- Tay’s Baes- Bruno Mars, Loco Pops, Whole Foods, mochi, a baptised balloon, baking shows, third floor common room of Bassett, and the knowledge that Taylor is the best RC ever (don’t @ me).
- Megan’s RAG- snatching relics, the cult of Y, my love of deepthroating popsicles, and sneaking on our phones during RAG meetings.
- Ren’s Roses- Roses Buds and Thorns, one hell of a scavenger hunt, and the best RAG I could’ve asked for.
- Spekkies- 18 blue sharpies, Cooper’s hatred for Taylor Swift, a hobbit to take to Isengard, Jason’s ominous voice, a space to sit that’s not taken over by weird conformist children, a cult that will outlive us all, and an amazing first year.
- Big Screen, Little Screen (minus one)- blue benches, an overdue movie mix, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a chicken train to get on the tracks, the most beautiful songs in the world, an understanding of the movie Inception, the ability to go back in time and unwatch Chinatown, and the banning of the Orchid Thief.
- Lit Lic- a better teacher, a shitty looking giraffe, all of Lily Shytle’s poetry, an infinite loop of me asking how breakfast, lunch, and dinner were, Joshua’s patience, writing exercises that were essentially identical, Meg’s poem about moons, and all of the tangents I attempted to get us on.
- PCult- my naps, my bullshit marijuana rant, the unerased quote wall, arguments between Will and I, my loud ass debates, a vulnerable sob session, Gerkhania, and the best class a fourth year could ask for.
- Relic Squad- fourth year privileges, doggy doggy doggies and woof woof woofs, intense debates (all initiated by Garrick), love for each and every one of you (seriously, how could a group of people be This amazing?), meetings filled with Screaming, and the absolute Joy in my heart that comes from having led this term with this unbelievably perfect band of people.
- Past Tipsters- the traditions, the love, the acceptance you left us. You were our icons second and third year, and we can only hope we made as much of an impact as you did. Thank you for showing me what it means to be a leader, a Duke parent, and a friend.
- All of My Children- an invitation to call me whenever and wherever, a dad that won’t yeet out to buy cigarettes, my snapchat (dauntlessbrooke yo go check it out), as much advice as I can possibly give, and my legacy to carry on.
- Every Greenie Left- rights, my love, and my hope for future generations. You guys are the future, you have the chance to make the changes that we couldn’t. We’re gone, we’re not coming back (except as RC’s boi get ready), but you guys are here for one or two more years. Make them count, take chances, start rebellions. Burn the whole fucking campus down, perpetual 0 days without a fire. Right now you might be scared to wear an orange lanyard, you might be hella excited, but based on the three or six weeks I’ve known you, I know that you’ll do amazing. Scream at the moon for me please, remind her of how amazing she is. Keep loving and accepting people, keep TiP as the beautiful place we all call home.
- The 2020 Relic Squad- listen up right now: y’all are going to be better than you could even imagine. We picked you guys for a reason, just like the 2018 tipsters picked us for a reason. If you have questions, don’t be afraid to ask, and remember that you guys are the ones who can get shit done. Stand up for everyone else on campus, and most importantly, enjoy your fourth year. The campus is yours now, make it your own, be your own people and start your own traditions. The best of luck to each and every one of you, and I’m always here if you need anything.
It breaks my heart to know I’ve said goodbye to TiP for the last time, that I’ve stood on B Duke for the last time, that I’ve screamed at the moon for the last time, that I’ve kicked off my shoes for American Pie, did the Time Warp, and sobbed to Iris for the last time. Even writing this now, I can’t believe it’s really over. There was a time in my life where I didn’t even know if I’d make it this far, and here I am, thriving, living the best life I can. Not every memory here was perfect. I made mistakes, some minor, and some that will stick with me for a lifetime. However, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Everything I’ve done, all of it has led me to where I am today. Without that, who knows who I would be, who knows if I would’ve met the same people and had the same friends, who knows if I even would’ve stepped foot on this campus. I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make- not every second spent on this campus was perfect, some were absolutely hell on earth, but they all make up the best experience I have ever had. I’ve fallen deep, deeply in love with every bench, every button, every unairconditioned dorm and every slice of pizza from the Marketplace. I could go on for pages and pages and pages about everything I’ve loved, every person I met, every delicate detail that describes my unconditional admiration for the Duke Talent Identification Program; but who would want to read that, especially when my will is long enough as is. I love each and every one of you, and the memories you’ve made with me. I will treasure our inside jokes and our group chats and every stupid thing we’ve done. You’ve all shown me that there is a place where I am loved and accepted, a place where I feel welcome and so genuinely happy. I didn’t know a place like that could exist and yet here it is, tucked away in Durham, North Carolina. TiP is over for me, but the love it gave me will live on forever in my heart. TiP is over for me, but it’s not over for so many of the greenies I’ve met, the people I’ve passed my relics on to, the people I’ve asked to carry on my legacy. TiP is over for me, but the relationships I’ve made will stick for a lifetime. TiP is over for me, but it’s something I will never forget. Keep in touch, and don’t be afraid to call. This is Brooklyn Bean Kristine Huffman, the 2019 pastor and moonscream leader, signing out. You all have my entire heart (Sam gets the biggest piece though). Until we meet again.
I, Lucy Colangelo, of motherly mind and levitating body, hereby bequeath the following:
to Lily: the rights to the hit classic “Lily’s Dad” and plentiful room for jesus; to Kavi: my hair for you to always play with and salamander coping mechanisms; to Saranna: a walk down the red carpet and your undying love for j*hn; to my greenie girls: relationtip drama, “oh, tea?“ and SO MUCH LOVE. y’all have made my last year absolutely unforgettable and I am so very grateful; to Empires: the majesty of Peter Weller and BKE (big keegan energy); to John and Sam: co-paternity; to Chris: inhalable jello, plentiful coochie, and crossword skills; to Carolina: some parenting books (I have a particular one in mind); to Megan: shower cuddles, RAG group therapy, uncontrollable woahs, and accidental GroupMe pics; to Shelby: constant support in all your hit-list endeavors; to Lorena: a weird ass feminist reading of rapunzel, plane tickets to Austin (or you can just drive your Tesla) and so much fun over these nine weeks together!!!!!! Go Coast Guard!!!!!!! to Katherine: a Jedi family tree (if I’m his twin does that make us ex sisters-in-law??); to Katrina: a woah-throwing machine, the desire for your Hungarian lanyard powers, baby kicks, and so much love. I’m so happy to have you in my life and I cannot wait to have a child together; to Grey: classroom sing-alongs and gentle leg caresses during cuddle puddles; to Maxx: my deepest darkest secrets and my white-person music taste; to Will: chivalry, an Eastern-European haircut, no PDA, and the three really really fun weeks spent with you :)))))) oh, and a couple points off my rice purity score. to my third year RAG: the cult of Y, an origami-filled hallway, and the ability to survive an interesting authority figure to Maggie: an abundance of motherly love and a singular pinky finger to Ryan: the title of His Excellency Sisi and plentiful dick jokes (big and micro)!! to PCult: three women and a twelve year old boy, an irate rose/bud/thorn, cuddle puddles in the unbearable sun, and constant laughter; to Meredith: all the funds raised by Megan and I from our Meredith fan club. go buy yourself something nice. you inspire me; to Lily: 10:45 room checks an unfortunately-worded white board; to the Lil’ Trio: nightly quad walks, origami flowers, and doggy doggy circa 450 BCE (bc togas!!!!); to Audrey: a rat in the AC, a clown costume, a big green tractor, nightly philosophical conversations, a rocked pack, and the best nine weeks of my life <3
i, audrey goff, of chill mind and dad bod, hereby bequeath the following: to ana, a bumble profile, dr pepper, and all my motherly love; to kate, a lesbian bracelet, an impulsive undercut, and a 12 step plan; to penelope, learning to woah and the best years of tip to come; to tate, knowing looks and a FamousBirthdays page; to brooke, a shit field of sunflowers and all my love; to lily smith, marriage and illegally petting dogs; to braden, a weed couch, stops at your lunch table, and buckets of my love; to katrina, my yellow hairband, quad fest chants, and a spot in my throbbing heart forever; to jude, a goodbye; to malia, the physical embodiment of my aesthetic; to lilly enekes, the second floor, a photography session, and the best hugs; to grey, sibling-hood; to ashley, three flights of stairs and a squished bug; to aiden, a. some brain cells and b. the death of fourth year rights; to pixley, bad choices and one day shipping; to emily jackson, a lifetime supply of incense and my forever changed perspective; to meredith, the crown you deserve, you icon; to josh, wagon wheels, QuA, and a slow dance; to megan, tiddies out for the world to see, my 1975 shirt, and the best damn documentary the world will ever see; to lotte, my friendship bracelet skills; to will, nutrition; to alex, a scarred mind; to liz, being on time and the ability to hear; to jordan, my chillness, not that you need it; to the intervention, an oscar and a thanks in the credits; to the lil trio, a walk around the quad and ginger shots; to the ethicult, tangents, oooOOOO tunnels, laughs, and late night confusion; to RC megan, lights out, locked doors, and a thank you for my best year, and RC, yet; to lucy, our single shared brain cell, open drawers, a high note, post-lights out conversations, a teen pregnancy, unheard alarms, awkward PDA, and being the best roommate i could ask for; and to duke tip, i leave twelve of the happiest, most transformative weeks of my life. thank you for all you’ve given me and more.
Here I am. In zebra body and Maluma moment mind, I am going to give y’all stuff. To Katherine N, I give you my last name. You deserve the entire world, and men ain’t treat you right so I guess I gotta. To Brooke Huffman, I give us eternal friendship. No matter how different we are, I never want to lose our 11:30 FaceTimes. To Katrina, I once again give you all of my good days. You deserve them. To Yaya, I guess I’ll share my daughter with you. I guess, but only because you love me. Also a ring because we’re getting married to share custody of Ava. To Megan, I’m giving you every bit of strength that I gained third year. I give you the strength to recognize when feelings get to be too much. To Shelby, I give you the four years of friendship we never really had. I will get a plane and fly to you every second I get. To Lucy, I’ll give you one UT thing I own. Also, I’ll give you the time that it’ll take my mom to let me go to ACL. To Lily Smith, I give all my beauty. You’re ridiculously gorgeous so you don’t need it. To Maddie, I’ll give you a hug because we honestly needed to have more. To John, I give my eternal friendship. To Ryan, I’ll give you my address and an invite to my birthday party. Let’s go to FMSC. To Shea, I give you my clarinet. Actually no, you can’t have Dany. But you can maybe like touch her once or twice. To Greyson, I’ll give you my swing set. Please never close the playground. To Audrey, my best moments at Rice. To Maxx, my guest pass at the admiral’s club. To Global Policy, Jill Stein. To PCULT, the title of “admiral.” Thank you for supporting my dreams. To Saranna, the ability to come back next year. To Kavi, a bright smile everyday. Never lose that happiness. To Evelyn, I give you myself. You can do it. To Grey, I’m still giving you my love for the arts. Love the arts. To Alessandro, every Spanish word that I know incorrectly. To Carolina, you know what I gave you. Take care of it, alright? To Lily, do what I told you. To Connor, I’m taking back my crocs, but I give you every good memory that you gave me in our time together. Thank you, dumb blonde, and always remember valar morhgulis. To Taylor Krick and Lizzie Wright, I hope I fulfilled your legacy. I did my best. I hope I was a quirky enough horsegirl for the both of you. Thank you for putting me on this path. I can’t thank you enough. To Ava, I leave you their legacy and Sockeisha. I leave you Stef, Grace, Lizzie, Taylor, and myself. We’re yours now. You three duties: lead Vamos a La Playa, be quirky, and find that third year that makes your year. Do it for me.
My Fourth Year Extended Will I, Maggie Randle, of southern mind and mom body do hereby bequeath the following: BROOKE-endless moon screams and blueberry lemonade; LILY S-Auburn football and frat boy dance moves; NUSHANA-a way to find your backpack and more socks; ANNA-an amazing fourth year and more costumes; JASON-a lost presidential election; ANNNA-endless cinematic experiences and an amazing fourth year; EMMA-an amazing fourth year, fairy lights and dinosaur costumes; SHELBY-all of the windows(if you know you know); KATHERINE N-a fulfilling relationtip and late night talks; BB-better typing skills and late night laughs; LUCY-endless motherly vibes; BROOKE-a room to cry in without being bothered and endless sushi from Whole Foods; RYAN-correct phone numbers and late night cackles; GREY-GREY-a better nickname; MADI-another way to come back to TiP and have an amazing career in journalism; TATE-finger long legs and what you don’t know; REN’S ROSES- infinite roses and buds; REN-more sleep; PAUL-all of the emotions and an endless supply of M&Ms; INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS: cuddle puddles and M&Ms; LILY M-for always making me laugh; MY WIVES-my whole heart; MAXX-Tim and Moby stories and good country music; YAYA-capitalism; AC-Air conditioning and chivalry; ROBERTO-November 30th (celebrate it every year); ARNAV-my scary eyes; thank you to my parents and brother; I missed you so much; GREENIES-I hope y’all come back and make the most out of the time you have with the most amazing people at the best place on earth; 4TH YEARS-many trips to visit each other, quadfest celebrations, gay sex on the shit field and all of my love; TiPsters thank you for making all of my summers so amazing! I love all y’all with all my heart! I love each and every person at this camp with so much and I am so sad to say that my time here is up! I want every single second and third year to be great full yaht y’all have another year and to make the most of every second you have left with these people that we all call family. Never give up on your dreams and always be yourself. Being at TiP has made that possible for so many people. At TiP we are all family and we love one another! I am amazed to see the people I love grow so much. I love y’all so much and will never forget y’all!
I, Sam King, of frisbee-filled mind and underweight body bequeath the following to:
- Jake Polansky- a greenie for you to take under your wing
- Andrew Miskimon- A horrible frisbee player for you to make better
- Emily Gurgens- An awkward little second year for you to help out of their shell
- Natalie Helms- An annoying child
- Zoë Rein- A fish, a towel batman, a weasel, sohcahtoa, spoon tag, and the most annoying second year.
- Jules Gitten- Actually talking in person instead of only in groupme and skype
- Reece Overholt- A fulfilled promise that I will work hard with the next Watercolors team and even more wet, WEt, W E T dreamz
- John Penry- A year full of being annoying, a Duke is better than UNC, an L in frisbee, and some skill in FPS games
- Devak- A devotion to actually liking Astralis and a frisbee that doesn’t hurt to throw
- Richard- AHHHHHHH, a frisbee friend, and a leech that will give me some of your musical talent.
- Ryan Ringel- A frisbee friend, a secret handshake, another frisbee that doesn’t hurt to throw, and a place to “live on the water, dude.”
- Shea Seufert- A time where I’m not mean to you, an actually successful exorcism, a half decent frisbee throw, and a leech that will give me some of your dancing talent.
- Maddie Peronto- Better eyebrows, a better frisbee throw, someone who actually responds to your texts, a concussion-free term, and DUKE IS BETTER THAN UNC
- Connor Deagle-A better taste in music, a better frisbee throw, and one more fat MAMAAAAAAAAA
- Kavi- Some decent volleyball skills
- Saranna- Bullying the green ball in PCult
- Lily- SOAPS
- Jordan Rein- Little fish
- Alessandro- A less aggressive frisbee throw
- Doggboi- Big boy swats
- Josh Rubel- Our wonderful marriage (and 1 (one) slap for not attending the first moonscream)
- Grey- Greysmr and the hope you don’t bully the rest of your TAs
- Breanna Upton- My crippling nicotine addiction
- Nathan Wang- My amazing chicken wing
- Shubhang- A better flick
- Jamie Gerdts- Playing time in the frisbee game
- Maxx Shearod- My red frisbee
- Andy- The hope that you’ll dominate the staff next year
- Tate- Frisbee snagging skills
- Teddy Astor- Frisbee throws that don’t hit you in the face
- Joshua Cox- Woah
- Claire-A less nintendo-like laugh and more time to talk to each other
- Payton Hoffman-Less dark jokes and a better frisbee throw
- Teddy Jones-A better term 2 frisbee team, height so you can snag on more people, and Counter strike because it truly is the superior game.
- Leddon- A time where Jedi doesn’t snag on you
- Cash- A rocket league carry
- Liam- An all-nighter, because I failed the last one
- Yustin Willis- A restriction-less phone
- Yaya Kagiliery-A challenger in volleyball
- Braden Borbley-A time and place for you and Brooke
- Sarah-Hops so you can actually catch that frisbee and a stronger S W A T
- Adrea Norrel-Cute cats and dogs
- Garrick Reeder-Satisfying sounding keyboards, tumblr police, and more ways to completely make up projects and presentations on the spot
- Quinn Reiger- Less sunburns and more frisbee dubs
- Greyson Wisdom- Less sunburns and more gainz
- Kevin- A time where you don’t think of me as annoying, where hopefully you aren’t afraid to be yourself
- Lucas- Hair gel
- Katrina Csaky- Jake’s flick skills, better hops, cats, specifically pole-dancing ones, and the ability to steal over half of my frisbees
- Andy Lee- Better bowling skills and some pride socks
- Brooke Huffman- An inner dragon named Burnie, a year of barely knowing each other, a year spent (basically) apart from each other, a questionable teacher, a giraffe, a perfectly amazing birthday shirt, a dick of lies, some frisbee skill, “you too”, a weasel, a burning hatred for all of my song choices, an “abstract” choice of music, someone to vent to even though you’ll probably only get a sarcastic response, and, finally, three years of love...and counting.
- My spec fic class- All the damn inner dragons you can harness
- My Creative Chronicles class- Stretched out crabs, spaceships, tennis balls, and the inability to use the word “last”
- My Lit Lic class- Giraffes
- PCult- Infinite woahs and cuddle puddles, and the best class of greenies
- To all the future and current tipsters- Don’t be afraid to go out there and be yourself. TiP is a completely different experience depending on whether or not you choose to go out and meet everyone you can. Take it from me, I refused to talk to basically everyone first year because I was too scared, but now that I’m willing to just go out and do it because I have the opportunity to do it, I’m living my best life. You’ve probably heard me screaming this at Andy during frisbee games, but be confident. Go outside, don’t be afraid to be yourself, and, most importantly, be good at frisbee.
Little bit of a shameless plug, but my insta is s.sam.king and my snap is drakontas419 if y’all ever need anything
What am I thankful for?
Well, there’s a lot of things, but I’m too lazy to type them all out unless for some reason I have a change of mind. So here’s a few of them. I’ll start out small and thank John Penry for introducing me to frisbee. I would’ve never been where I was today without frisbee to help me be more social. I want to thank my spec fic class for being so amazing. I would’ve never come back to TiP if it hadn’t been for y’all. Y’all changed something in my life that I would’ve been completely different without, and I can’t than y’all enough. I’m thankful for “The Squad.” Andrew, Emily, Jake, Natalie, and Zoë. Y’all have changed my life so much I can’t even explain it. When I was new to Duke East, y’all were willing to take me in and help me come out of the shell I had tried so hard to build around myself. Y’all made it so that I am the person that stands before you today. Y’all mean the world to me, and I don’t think I can express how grateful I am that y’all decided to take the angry little second year under your wing. I lastly want to thank Brooke. We’ve been best friends for three years by now, and I can’t say that I’ve thought about how horrible it’s going to be without seeing you at least once a year for twenty days. You’ve helped me through thick and thin and are probably the only reason I stay sane during the school year. I’m going to miss you a lot dude, and you better fuckin visit because I want you to meet my cats.
I, Tate Clemons, of coordinated mind and uncoordinated body, do hereby bequeath the following: to all Tipsters, I leave acceptance, home, and love. MY RAG: roses, buds, and thorns. KATHERINE L: a segway and my sweet, sweet lovin'. MAKAYLA: a bee farm and a business man’s dream. KATHERINE N: my whole heart. VICTORIA: tickets to Egypt and a bone. BROOKE: the stars and the moon. AUDREY: acceptance to clown college and a lifetime supply of string. MAXX: pixy stixx and Wattpad. GARRICK: a never-ending supply of maxi dresses. LILY S: a certain pelvic dance move. MAGGIE: fists for you to throw and dangerous circles. ETHICS: an understanding of the societal norms of cheetahs. KATE: acceptance into a fraternity. JOSH: dozens of happy marriages. LILY M: endless validation. AMY: the best 4th year ever. ANNA J: love and affection forever. RYAN: panties to replace all the ones you’ve dropped. GRACIE: the thought, use it wisely. ELIZABETH: beets and doorways to bump into. SKIPPY: a river of our collective tears from the dance and an invitation to join the snort-stopping task forces. JAMES: the never performed 4th-year Wicked duet. LUCY SILVERMAN: a gold woman. AIDAN: the water fountain crack. ALEX L: a megaphone to tell the world about your abs through. LOTTE: the hope your smile stays with you forever. PENELOPE: the hope that you never lose your energy and charisma. ANA: all the hugs and kissy faces in the world. PIXLEY: strength and confidence. MALIA: my respect and the hope that you remain such an incredible leader. LAYLA: the knowledge that you are smarter than you can imagine and the 2020 TiP Duke East Pamphlet. ARIN: leadership and laughter. JUDE: credible sources. SCHMILL: fruit, vegetables, and 1000 Rice Krispy treats. ASHLEY: the ethics classroom and glances of confusion from across the room. LIZ: a lifetime supply of animal crackers. ALEX: enough books to real at every meal for a year. GREY: my autograph and infinite hugs. JACK: a river of plastic babies and endless confidence in yourself. COOBLVOOBN: all of my thanks and a lead role in the next Marvel film. To the friends I have lost to other terms/campuses, I leave EAST IS BEAST.
I, Megan, of misdirected mind and dazed body, done bequeath the following:
To MAXX, herpes, better dance moves, weird late-night snap convos about dicks and feelings and me saying whatever, new sunglasses, and more time in that hallway doe; MADDIE PERONTO, a squinch on the chin and endless concussions; BROOKE, gay sex on the shit field, the sauce I forgot to order on the pizza, and all of the nut on the first floor bathroom; SHEA, a bralette to cover his concavity, endlessly reading people and always being right, speaking gay with Andrew and Lauren, and our early morning writing (but mostly gossip) seshes; JOSH, gummy worms not containing peanuts and a two-state solution; AVA, freedom from Jo; JO, freedom from George; GEORGE, my motherly love and neglect, the final action report, illegal morning activities, and emotions; ALEX, Feminist Night 2 and superios abs; GARRICK, Hooters but with PAWGs; LAUREN, the best boyfriend (me), bathroom parties, Alex the Great’s wise words about ovaries and climate change, and my fist pointed straight at Peter’s dick; RC MEGAN, Brazil, very wise life advice, and an inner eye into my Saggitarius soul; ZOE, chaoticness, bed jumps, and our shared child, Money; JORDAN, all the weed in Coller-raaad-o and my eye contact in class; CAROLYN, Beto’s Latin identidad and lunchtime gossip; OLIVIA, the most beautiful hair in the world and class love triangles; TRISTAN, the breast; MADDIE PRICE, activism; KATHERINE NIKOLICH, summer thoughts, all the money from your tax cut, the right to violate me on the daily, and class naptime; KATHERINE LAWSON, being the non-thotty Katherine; LILY, the kuntry life; BRADEN, sporkle woter; GREYSON, ownership of the playground overseen by me (Jah), that dub in Connect Four, our physical fight, the juice I spilled on your shirt that you never noticed, and the happiness I dearly want you to have; TYLER, 25 of my rice purity points (24 now *wink wink*); SMALLDOG, counseling and more confidence to be yourself, because I love yourself; LUCY, tally number infinity, shower cuddles, and being the best at Psych; AUDREY, issues+tissues, hitting the Woah for fame, and the best clown costume money can buy; RYAN, dummy thicc cookie and John screaming, a slap on the ass with the Chacos, custody of our mixed race babies, and co-rulership of Zimbabwe; TATE, surprisingly fun card games; KATRINA, #boardingschoolprobz and the nice thought of knowing we don’t need those penguins up there because we got each other; SHELBY, a vacuum, all the Cheerwine in my heart, bathroom parties and philosophy talks, our mutual disappointment but unconditional love, the pussy I helped you get, and titties; SØREN, Coke name stickers, friendliness and the strength to continue; BO, disturbing chants, daughterly affection, and the drank; CAROLINE, beauty, brains, and exposing stupid boys; PAUL-LOUIS, French peasantry and the best hugs; CARL, my ability to think outside the box; FRANCESCA, monotone voices and wrecking Billy; MOLLY, heartfelt chants, TA tea, and all the fat stacks you’ll get from lawyering with Shire Pharmaceuticals; CHERYL, a fist to pound over our successes against the odds;RC POLICE CHASE SQUAD, Ryan’s closet and the little space behind the stairs; HITLIST SQUAD, a baguette to smack all the stupid boys; P-CULT 2018, the eagles of Capitalism, frat bro Macbeth, Margaret’s vegan sprinkles, Asa’s horrendous political views, Bigdog’s bad attitude, goat testicles, and all of Zizek’s coke; REV-T 2019, Chad Smith’s last stand, adderall, the ratchet bus, name-dropping Jah in every debate, a million hours of “I’ll wait…”, and proudly being the ‘problem class’; and finally, to East Campus, all the La Croix money can buy.