Anatomy, Physiology, and Medical Ethics at Duke West 2018 Term I
Nick was our beloved instructor. He had just finished his first year of medical school at the Creighton University School of Medicine, after completing his undergraduate education at the University of St. Thomas. We are very proud of Nick. His catchphrase is "Oh yeah. For sure!" Nick was a very good teacher, but also a truly kind soul.
Laura was our beloved TA. She had just completed her first year of college at Duke University (The whole thing, not just the TIP). We are very proud of Laura. She was known for being a huge nerd, which was very appreciated in a class of nerds. She commonly would take the lectern from Nick to teach the class about new and exciting research ("So technically, males wouldn't be biologically necessary!").
The original version was written during the second week and included only the first line. After the assignment of the end-of-term paper sparked outrage, the students added the second line to the jingle, much to the annoyance of TA Laura, who could commonly be found yelling, "Three pages is nothing! I had to write multiple three-page papers a week. You guys are going to die in college!"
To the tune of "Sweet Caroline"
"Anatomy! It's so fun! Physiology is great! So great! So great!
Ethics are fun! No they're not. We love writing long papers! No we! Do not!"
Alfredo Hippo Barry
Alfredo Hippo Barry is the class skeleton. He was named by a vote from the class, and the top three out of five choices were incorporated into his full, glorious name. From the first week, Tanya took an interest in him as a bit more than friends. This prompted many necrophilia jokes, but Tanya did not care, because she loved that plastic skeleton. Finally, on the last day of class, they were married in a beautiful ceremony outside Duke Chapel. Tanya did not wear a dress.
The idea for this prank was created the very first week of class. Immediately, TA Laura shot down the idea, so the students knew they would have to be super stealthy about the operation. Annie provided the fruit (two grapes per person) and Simone provided the sword (a plastic knife from ABP). As the class came in from break one third week afternoon, Simone handed Nick the sword and yelled "Fruit Ninja!" The class threw their grapes as Laura yelled to Nick, "No! Nick, leave the room immediately! Guysss, I told you not to!"
At first glance, Nnamdi was an unassuming second-year. However, as the term progressed, it became obvious that from the mouth of Nnamdi flowed gems more precious than any dug from the Earth. The context of these quotes is necessary to grasp the full humoral effect, but nonetheless they are certainly a good time in any form. We give thanks to Isabel for recording these quotes. Enjoy.
"When asked to smoke the devil's lettuce, promptly refuse. Smoke only the bible, because heaven is the highest you can get."
"High stakes pimple popping."
"It's like an autopsy, but you're alive. So like a biopsy"
"If sperm does not arrive in 28 days, I'm legally allowed to leave."
"Yeah! Birds are flying high!"
"Crows are hiding something."
"I own you!!! You can't hurt me!!"
"Dude, where were you?? 'Oh I just had some micro aneurisms' Oh okay."
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's a disease-ah."
Sometimes they'll touch my ear and then my mouth feels really weird."
Racist disease...(shakes head) disgusting."
"The body...who knew?" (Common loci of VOC)
"Annie???? Are you okay??????"
"Is that the ENTIRE spleen???"
"Ear bleeding is just one if those things that gets me"
"It looks like a face just screaming 'AHHHH HELP ME!!'"
"I got all I need!"
"You don't even know if he has the same hands."
"Sir I just can't resist, I must eat your stomach!!"
"They got big boys."
"The first pig was not as meaty"
"You can't blame the lions"
"They (lions) are very cool. We enjoy their presence. We even made movies about them! How many? Like 4!"
"I'm so hung up on the Utility Monsters."
"You're going to die, and like that's sad, but"
"Is this ASMR?"
"You GET to watch this."
"Oh those darn female mosquitoes!"
"I just love the idea of the Utility Monsters!!"
"l mean yeah I guess we could rise up."
"Duck duck duck you suck"
"Nick dodges questions harder than a politician."
"Yeah there's definitely secret societies. Black market."
"Water bubbler??? I've never heard that."
"Pajamas?? Oh my god."
"What if one of us has latent super powers??"
"Gives a whole new meaning to 'a mama's boy.'"
"We went into farming too early. We should've waited a little longer to smooth out the kinks."
"Gotta pay off those student loans somehow."
"Like Steve Jobs and the other guy."
"How DARE you save his life!!"
"Incinerate the mink!!!"
"The drugs love you as well."
"Let's just cut out the middle man and just eat dirt."
"Then you just have to act along so you don't mess up the space time continuum."
"You should call the mantis shrimp."
"Look at this new pin I have procured."