Oh! Sam!

Author's Note: I found this on The Wayback Machine and thought that it was too good not to share.

"Oh Sam!" is a term for a fake orgasm. The expression was first coined at East Campus in 2001. Stephen Koren came up with the joke when he was a 4th year in Sam's RAG.

"There are four kinds of orgasms in this world. The affirmative - Oh yes! Oh yes! The negative - Oh no! The religious - Oh God! Oh Jesus! And the fake - Oh Sam!"

At East II 2004, "Oh Sam!" was used as part of one of Bassett's dorm cheers at Quadfest, to the tune of "Hey Ya!", lyrics by Peter Sloan:

"Oh Sam!

(First verse:)

There are four types of orgasm in this world we live in.

The affirmitive: Oh yes, oh yes.

The negative: Oh no, oh no.

The religious: Oh God, oh Jesus.

And, of course...the fake:

(Chorus) Oh Sam, oh sam.

(Second verse:)

You think you got it

Sam, you think you got it

But when she really needs it, you've got nothin' at all

You cum together?

[Sarcastically] Right, you cum together

But faking's always needed when Sam's involved

If what they say is "Nothing lasts forever,"

Then what makes, then what makes, then what makes (what makes)

What makes (what makes) Sam the exception?

So oh Sam, oh Sam

Oh Sam, oh Sam, oh Sam

We know you're really tryin' but you know we're not happy here

(chorus)

Alright, now fellas

(YEAH?!)

What's the last thing you want to hear in bed?

(OH SAM!)

I can't hear ya! I said what's the last thing you want to hear in bed?

(OH SAM)

Alright, alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, Ok now ladies, (YEAH!)

And we gon' break this back down in just a few seconds

Now don't have me break this thang down for nothin'

Now I wanna see y'all on y'all baddest behavior

Lend Sam some suga', he is your neighbor

Here we go!

Now fake it, fake, fake it, fake it

Fake it, fake it, fake, fake it, fake it, fake it

Fake it, fake it like a pornographic picture, fake it, fake it

Shh you got to, fake it, fff fake it, fake it, got to fake it

Fake it like a pornographic picture

(chorus)