Squad Squad Goals Goals
Squad Squad Goals Goals is a squad founded at Wake Forest Term 1 in 2016 by Molly/Maura (called Molly in this article) O, Alec/Esme (called Alec in this article) L, and Ira the Scummy Lawyer whose Last Name Molly Does Not Know but Will Find Out(It's Morningstar, Molly) (you are not a hypermasculine YA vampire, so no, it is not). Squad is a filler term in this situation, as they are really just in an oxymoronic queerplatonic polyamorous relationtip. As of this publication, the squad includes Alec (the Britlish One who's Seceded and Decided They're Canadian Now), Ira (the Scummy Lawyer without the Fedora), Molly (the tiny Hug Seeking Missile of Justice), Ellie (the Tall (NOT)Straight Theatre One), Charlie (The Anti Molly), Max (the Squishy Sinnamon Rollerbun), Harleigh (Will Save us All From Stormtroopers), Jude (Tall, Has Nukes, Might Kill You), and James (I'm Sorry I Don't Remember Your Title but you Have Gorgeous Eyes so We'll Go With That). It is, however, a rapidly expanding squad and I assure you that this page will be outdated by the time our next free period is over. The group got together on an officially named capacity around the time of The Fall, but were hanging out WAAAAAAAY before then anyway. Favorite group pasttimes include discussing politics, History with Ira, Lawyer Bashing with Ira, Arguing, Naming Things, Taking Ira's hat, making random people wear Ira's tie, reminding people that everyone looks good in a flower crown, discussing sexuality stereotypes, teaching people about each other's classes, Not Participating, and more flower crowns than previously mentioned. There was also a blood oath at the second dance, although only James,, Alec, Molly, and Ira were participants. If anybody asks, no actual blood was extracted or exchanged. Friendly reminder that everybody looks good in a flower crown!:)
- The tragic loss of Ira's fedora and then Ira's tie, which was passed around the group for three days before returning to its owner's neck
- The not-so-tragic loss of one of Ira's numerous books stolen by Alec
- The hilarious but anticipated loss of Ira's dignity
- The initial formation of TIP's first oxymoronic queerplatonic polyamorous relationTIP
- Outrage, general confusion, anxiety and depression as a result of The Fall (although that was really just all of the campus)
- Quadfest, during which several blue team members (or maybe just Molly, I don't remember) willingly joined red because all their friend were there and also Jakob with a K and also they had individualized cheers against each other team (grellow's not a color)
- Alec would love to add that, although grellow is technically a colour, it's such an ugly one that they're stuck in denial
- Molly would like to reply that despite a lot of wishful thinking on your and the rest of the Grellow team's part, grellow is not, in fact, a color. EVEN IF IT WERE, you have absolutely no credibility given your recent secession from the EU. We as America can trust nothing you say.
- The best lawyer/ dad joke (by Alec) as presented below:
"Hey,I'm a lawyer" "Hello, scum, I'm dad
Ships Within The Squad (some are real):
- Literally Everyone/Literally Everyone Else
- Alec/Finn (they aren't in the group but still)
- James/Night Vale
- Molly/Watercolours (Alec/Spelling things wrong, it's waterCOLORS)
- Jude/The Top Of People's Heads
- Max/ Molly's stolen thin mint granola bar (which she doesn't know about)
- She does now, and she knows where you sleep. =D
- Ellie/Aidan (Edan) (This happened the day Ellie got locked out of her Netflix account and was forced (by Maura, and Ira) to be social)(Quote from Ellie: I regretted telling these people whatever (I don't even know) was going on between Aidan and me but after someone got him to dance with me, I wasn't so mad at them anymore.)
Miscellaneous Questions About Life
- 1. Why do clip on ties exist?
- 2. What can't Ira argue about?
- 3. When will Ira stop terrorizing Ellie about being a (NOT)straight theater nerd?
- 4. When will Ira stop asking questions?
- 5. When will this list contain a question not involving Ira?
- 6. When will we stop posting questions?
- 7. When will Ellie NOT hide under a table and think about her life problems while watching Netflix?
- 8. When will we ever see each other again?
- 9. When will Maura stop giving hugs to random people?
- 10. When will Jude stop spamming Maura's email with Somalia n bacon?
The Scum Squad
The Scum Squad is a rendition of the Oxymoronic Queerplatonic Polyamorous RelationTiP, created by Ellie for a book she is writing.... most people in the group have a character though she added a few people. The "Scum Sqad" was originally coined by Ira's character because he is called (in real life and in the book) Lawyer Scum. The people in the squad discuss daily topics around a table raised up from the rest of the cafeteria at a not yet named camp. They discuss things like (this is in the book) "The Flower Crown Theorem". Most character's backstory's have been made so if you want yours, I (Ellie) will email it to you. Also, the Scum Squad has a sign that says "Scum Squad Self-Worth Population: -2". Each character also has a personified version of their fear/worst character trait. These characters also go to camp with the Scum Squad, and make their lives miserable. That is pretty much it, though if anyone has an idea for their character, or the name of the camp, please tell Ellie through email. You can receive her email through Maura (who has permission to give it out to people in the group.) MORE TO COME! :)