The Squid
From the archives of TiPWiki, the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki
Little is know about The Squid, but it most certainly lives.
Long live the squid.
The squid is our god, it lives at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, It lives forever! The squid has decided to bestow its greatness and powers in our lord on earth. We know of this prophet as lord Geoff. Lord Geoff is almost as sacred as the squid except he is a mortal. However he is no mere mortal because he has magical powers over us Tipsters. He has the powers to enslave us and force early bedtime upon us. He also controls the force of the great almighty Bolton Thunder. The Great Squid also has the power to control the fate of humanity. The most recent example of The Great Squid's Greatness was when it made Donald Trump a symbol of failure due to Donald Trump using our dear lord's name in vain. Furthermore, The Great and Almighty Squid is a god and controls our universe. Why? Because the turtle said so (read the book it to get the reference) Geoff is the only known human to have met both the Almighty Squid and the Great turtle |
—A passage of scripture from the Book of Squid |