The Truth

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The Martians are here to kill our babies. After death we transcend into toasterhood and become Blue Aerodynamic Toasters. We then are quantum tunneled to Antarctica to melt the ice and increase global warming. By increasing Earth's temperature, we are weakening the Martians, as they are not adapted to warmer climates. We honor our Toaster ancestors with blue painter's tape, as requested through Confucian values. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a martian, and is a sentient polymorphic rock. He is a meteorite that came to Earth to infiltrate human society and report his findings to The Rock.

"What are you nutters on?"- Ike