Thomas the Martyr

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You may recall a song, which was played at a fair few TIP dances, that featured lyrics that went something like, "Take your shirt off, and wave it like a helicopter."

Poor Thomas the Martyr did just so. The On-Site Coordinator (OSC) Ivan Shin (aka Ivan the Terrible) sentenced Thomas to death by sending home. Thomas plead his innocence. He had, after all, been wearing an undershirt. And so Ivan compromised with Thomas. Thomas was made to sign a contract which said that if he was found guilty of any further regressions, he would go home. The following day, on the way from class to lunch, Thomas jaywalked. And you might be thinking that all good Kansas Jayhawks jaywalk. Ivan the Terrible thought not, and he made a martyr of Thomas.

As a result, was unable to perform his duet with Thomas of "What if Jesus Was at TIP?," a parody of Joan Osborn's "What if God Was One of Us?" which was released in the late 90's. The parody contains lyrics such as, "If Jesus was at TIP, would it be fine and if we wanted to get drunk would he turn water into wine? Would he be the first true American Idol? Would he go to Writer's Workshop to write the new Bible? If Jesus was at TIP, would it be cool and do you think he would get bored when we were at the pool because he walks on water? Or would he smite us all just like his Father? (Yeah, remember that whole flood thing?)" Andrew Blumberg, The Bueno Master, was unmistakably a . He was forbidden by Ivan Shin to perform the song at the annual Talent Show, for fear of offending Christian TIPsters. However, no one was offended, and shortly after Term II '03 adjourned, Andrew recorded and e-mailed the song to every contactable TIPster. For the audio file, contact Jessie "Skippy" Tanner at Interrowhimper on AOL Instant Messenger.