Broshism
Broshism is the cult surrounding Yoshi the dinosaur. Alternatively spelled as Broshiism, it is near indescribable, but I will attempt to capture the raw beauty and complexities of The Holy Church of Yoshi into words.
The Lore
In the beginning, there was only Yoshi. For many eternities Yoshi reflected on the nature of existence, and discovered all the secrets of reality. However, nothing else existed, so no beings were present and he could not share his wisdom and guidance. With this thought, Yoshi laid the Cosmic Egg, and within that egg existed our universe. From the yolk of that egg, matter and energy poured forth, supplying the atoms that would later build stars and nebulae and eventually life. From the moment the first earthly being crawled out of the primordial soup, Yoshi has showered life with his guiding light. Humanity is Yoshi's favorite creation, because Man was the first of his to show sentience, and ponder existence like Yoshi had so long ago. In Man's eyes, Yoshi saw himself and his efforts reflected, and loved the human race for evermore.
In an instinctual sense, Mankind has always been aware of His Holiness Yoshi. When reaching enlightenment, an individual reflects on Man's true path to glory and exultation. At the summit of this mountain of discovery is Yoshi. He will ask the enlightenment-seeker one question, which is unique to each seeker. If Yoshi determines your answer to be of the righteous path, he will bestow upon you the Truth of the Universe. For those who are happy without the ascetic trials that one must endure to reach nirvana, Yoshi can be found in day-to-day life, especially in nature. When one looks out on to the ever-steady ocean waves pounding the coast, or the Appalachian Mountains rising to clash against the South Eastern skies, one can't help but see Yoshi's divine intervention, for no mortal or random occurrence could create such beauty. Yoshi also has a part in the very human psyche, as without him there would be no emotions or thought processes.
Broshism and Duke Tip
The first tipster to learn of Broshism was , and although she was not the creator of it, the prophet who did create Broshism (a non-tipster) gave the torch of Yoshi's love to her and told her to spread the word. The weight of the One True Religion was too great for him, and has gone down in Broshi history as the Fallen Prophet. This all occurred almost immediately after Duke Tip 2013. Determined to bring the wonders of Broshism to Duke Tip, Alie set off for Duke West in an effort to spread the love of Yoshi to the future scientists, leaders, doctors, and engineers of the world. Broshism first got its start at Tip in Nuclear Science, where it was brought up as a rival cult to the popular Rickyism (based on the RC of the class). By the end of second week if not before, Broshism superceded Rickyism in popularity and power. One of the greatest contributors to Broshism was Alyson Win, a fourth year in the class. Alyson was the creator of Rickyism, and her conversion to Broshism was a power move that greatly increased Yoshi's sphere of influence. Alyson's help in the infant stages of Tip Broshism secured her a place as one of the grandest broshis to ever exist.
The Yeti Faction
The most mysterious and thus elite section of Broshism. Emma Jane Hopper is the originator of Yeti-Sectorian Broshism. The yeti originates from Yeti: A Gay Love Story, an infamous so-bad-its-good movie. The theology of the Yeti branch of Broshism believes that long ago Yoshi was enthralled by the tragically mortal beauty of the Yeti, who eventually left Yoshi for a human man named Adam. A story written by Emma Jane explains the story of Yoshi, the Yeti, and Adam. It differs with main Broshism's creation story, but all broshis can unite under Yoshi's love.
"After Yoshi had formed the world, he found himself becoming lonely. The fish he had created spent all of their time in the sea, and didn’t have the minds to worship, reject, or acknowledge Yoshi at all, preferring to spend their time swimming, eating, and being eaten. Yoshi realized he needed a more conscious family to share the world with, so he created a lover for himself out of the soil of his Earth. He breathed life into his lover with the North wind, and he gave his heart rhythm with the music of the babbling brooks. His lover was covered head to toe in lush white fur, with large feet and large hands. His lover’s teeth were sharp and pointy, the gnashing things filling Yoshi’s lover’s wide, protruding mouth right below his small, button-like nose. Yoshi’s lover had brilliant blue eyes above his nose, and his pale-skinned face was hairless. Yoshi named his lover Yeti, and so he was called, bringing joy to Yoshi’s days for years to come. One day, however, Yoshi found himself becoming bored and lonesome once again. Yoshi called upon his lover Yeti, requesting children, and Yeti complied. Yoshi wanted a population that would question him and his decisions, that would revere him, that would reject him. He wanted a live action soap opera to entertain himself with. And so Yoshi and Yeti had many children, Yoshi carrying them. The children were all different dinosaurs and similar creatures, and ran through the land for many millennia. Yoshi and Yeti had more children, these in the form of primitive lemurs, and carried by Yeti. Yeti and Yoshi had been watching over their new children and neglecting their old children for several years when an asteroid hit Yoshi’s Earth, killing almost all of the children carried by Yoshi. Distressed, Yoshi began to cry tears of ice, covering the land in ice for many years. Yoshi wanted to replicate his old children, so he begged Yeti to have more with him. Giving in easily, Yeti and Yoshi had lizards and birds and frogs. Meanwhile, the children Yeti had carried were evolving, becoming monkeys and apes and homo sapiens. The world had become as it is today, thanks to Yoshi and his lover, Yeti."
