Cryptomandments

UGA Term 2 2011 Cryptography, Codebreaking, an the Mathematics of Spying class aka [Crypto[1]]. They're finally here guys... all 38 of them. :) For the record, I consulted the pictures of camp and my video for these and I tried to make a Cryptomandment for every picture in that video, plus some extra. Enjoy... (Barbie, good luck trying to make a sermon out of this.)

I. Thou shalt not attack thy brother when there's a wrench in thine eye.

II. Thou shalt not ridicue the pliers in the eye of thine own neighbor when there's a wrench in yours.

III. Thou shalt not use axe, hither or thither. Ever.

IV. Thou shalt always be in bed with lights out at 10:45, lest you see flame-throwing in more than just your dreams.

V. Thou shalt honor the pure awesomeness of Lee's hair.

VI. Only on weekdays may you mistake propeller hats for bows or tennis shoes for bunny slippers, lest you greatly misinterpret a picture and your students cry from laughter.

VII. Thou shalt never parkour in an unruly fashion, lest thy soul be condemned to Cotilion.

VIII. Thou shalt ALWAYS combine Harry Potter and TIP, because that would be the sole definition of awesomeness in and of itself.

IX. Thou shalt not make Lee into Zorro, lest thee be dropped into a Penitentiary truck for blasphemy.

X. If Mario attacks TIP... run. If you can't run, grab an anti-mushroom flame-thrower shield.

XI. thou shalt give Trocki a parachute, for crying out loud.

XII. Thou shalt learn how to spell Penitentiary.

XIII. Thou shalt always refer to Lee respectfully, Ex: Mr. Vampire Sailor Sir.

XIV. Thou shalt never use Larry for cleaning. Those days are over.

XV. Thou shalt never clean coffee with a broom... It's scandalous and wastes a moment in which you could have used some common sense...

XVI. If thy conscience tells thee to cover Trocki's fedora with invisible ink... make like Nike and Just Do It.

XVII. Thou shalt perch on any ledges to be found, no matter how high.

XVIII. Thou shalt respect Megan's Tree.

XIX. Thou shalt not try to hail a bus on a Saturday, lest the dinosaurs attack you from their lack of Summit.

XX. Thou shalt try thy best to stay out from under the Struggle Bus.

XXI. Thou shalt hold the utmost respect for yet a strong fear of the Struggle Bus.

XXII.Thou shalt not be too mean to orphans, lest they get angry and incur their wrath.

XXIII. Tell your friends.

XXIV. Honour Friday and keep it Parkoury.

XXV. The only thing that could ever give you the right is Lee.

XXVI. Thou shalt think of TA Anthony as a Truppie.

XXVII. Thou shalt not disgrace thyself by singing 'Friday' in thy TAs presence.

XXVIII. Thou shalt say 'cross' five times before crossing the street.

XXVIX. Thou shalt do the tangent dance at awkward intervals.

XXX. Thou shalt make healthy choices, and only wear them if your name is Nick Torres.

XXXI. Thou shalt go off on a tangent here, but...

XXXII. thou shalt smell thy sandals to judge their cleanliness.

XXXIII. Thou shalt not step on lobsters.

XXXIV. Thou shalt not disturb the mighty horse when he is in his 'Whatever Man' phase.

XXXV. thou shalt not drown thyself in smoothies.

XXXVI. Life is a journey, just don't travel with Larry.

XXXVII. Thou shalt remove the wrench from thine eye already. I've sat here and given you all these commandments and IT'S STILL THERE.

XXXVIII. WHOOOOO!!