Sub 4 five

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The eternal legend of the Sub 4 Five.

There was once a time, long ago, when the Term 2 record for the Vermonster, set by the likes of Sung and the Milkman, sat on the mark of 4:44 since 2016. In the two years that followed, many had tried and many had failed to conquer this near insurmountable feat. But on one fateful night, Tuesday the 24th of July 2018, a group of five valiant members of Tristan's 4th year guys RC group decided to tackle the challenge. In one of the most raw examples of pure drive and effort, as the five viciously devoured the desert, bite by bite by bite. Ignoring all brainfreezes and with two hands scooping, they consumed it, and as the witnesses cheered them on with voices that rang across downtown, and as minds were collectively being blown, they raced for a record time. As if it were a magic act, the ice cream in the bucket began to disappear, more rapidly than believable, until, at last, on the mark of 3:57:59 seconds, an emptied bucket lay before them, and eternal glory lay ahead.

The members of the five were as follows: George Hurt, Jake Huggins, Kenny Flores, Clayton Glasser, and John Wells Campbell I (Jack). This was the first time 4 minutes had ever been broken, and as they eclipsed the record of old, many of them went back into Ben and Jerry's for "one more scoop."

As of the writing of this document, the record still stands as 3:57:59, and a great trial awaits those who would dare attempt to surpass it.


Special thanks to Robert Loveall for this wonderful account and narrative of the bomb actions of the one and only, Sub 4 Five.