The Pen as a Weapon

[this is for the LSU class] This class had a misleading title, as its students did not learn how to make prison weapons or become John Wick. However, its students DID learn how to write satire, analyze anime, write plays, make cropped boomer memes, develop a love for punk rock, and persecute Christians. Taught by the most excellent Cooper and Claire, long may they live.

Term 2 2019

Students

• Alexa, knower of Beckies.
• Alex, performer of Malvolio. RIP.
• Anna, fangirl of Keanus.
• Brianna, bagger of bags.
• Carrie, destroyer of cookies.
• Coin, loser of L's.
• Elizabeth, rubber of temples.
• Lia, creator of Mormons.
• Marley, memorizer of Gone With The Winds.
• Sidney, reciter of vines.
• Rex, monochromatic at best.
• Theo, lord of post-its.

Long may they live.

Notable Events

• One day, an assignment was given to write "exquisite corpse" poems. The resulting poetry was glorious, heartrending, thought-provoking, and tOtAlLy TIPpropriate. Doves soared and church organs played. Laughter pealed through the halls like silver bells. Then the supervisor walked in, and everybody OOPed. Emergency censorship was performed, but to no avail.
• Anna learned to cuss. Nobody had any idea what her favorite cuss word was.
• One day, the class was busily studying Ouran Highschool Host Club when once more a supervisor walked in. The young scholars were labeled as degenerates.
• The class followed the events of "The Bachelorette" and celebrated Luke P's downfall with Swedish Fish.
• One day, Carrie consumed copious quantities of cookies(10 in 5 minutes), proving that her innards are made of vibranium. Moments later, Lia shotgunned many cartons of Dragon Punch. Meanwhile, Anna was still trippin' on all the chocolate syrup from her morning coffee.
• Brianna nearly ended the universe by putting a bag inside a bag.
• Danny DeVito versus Keanu Reeves. Who will win?
• Anna platonically asked Theo to TIP Prom with sticky notes before falling sideways out of her chair. Prom night was subsequently spent roasting the treacherous music choices and suffering headaches.
• The class was not allowed to enter the haunted house due to previous groups being rude to the actors. Brianna and the Crackheads were sad.
• Lia converted Buster Nutte and his son Busty to the Mormon faith.
• Who the f*ck is Becky?!?!
• Coin successfully gained four L's, shocking the class with his godlike L-collecting abilities, and (briefly) became the boss known as Collllin.
• Everybody learned that slouching in your chair at a 225 degree angle is actually surprisingly comfortable.
• Rex became a Scotsman.
• Carrie taught the class that they were all sardines, dude.
• Cooper failed to get published
• UPDATE: Cooper has since gained at least two publications. THE JUJU WORKED!
• (completely forgot about this) One day Anna and Sidney were eating lunch and they saw a squirrel WITH THE BIGGEST NUTS the world has EVER seen chasing after a female squirrel. Anna named him Big Chungus.

-! mY iMmErSiOn!