The Talking Cup

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The legend of The Talking Cup commenced one day at Rice University, Term 2, 2014. The entire ordeal first began when an unnamed male second year was illustrating his problems to an audience of both second and third years pupils upon the seventh floor at about 10:15 P.M. This bashful second year was attempting to disclose to said congregation the quandary which had surfaced during the previous days regarding the state of his affection towards a particular third year female acquaintance. Said female did not possess the aforementioned affection shown by her male counterpart and he was ruminating what course of action he should adopt in order to woo said female. As a knowledgeable young TiPster should do, this second year requested the guidance of knowledgeable, sophisticated, and well informed third years, known as Bobby Magee, Alex Moore, and Champ Warren. These brilliant individuals were masters at assisting the younger generation with matters exotic and unknown to them and heartily accepted the task of aiding said befuddled second year with his concerns. However, an unanticipated distraction as companions of our male second year entered the fray and continually disturbed the proceedings with their incessant chatter. The third year advisers, placid and diplomatic as always, ingeniously created a system, devised by Alex but put into action by Champ, which regulated the manner in which an individual was able to voice his opinion without being compelled to strain his vocal cords in order to attain the attention of the present multitude. This system was known as The Talking Cup.

The Talking Cup system was previously known as The Talking Can, however the pure wrath of Bobby Magee at the stupidity of the second years was too immense to be contained and three consecutive Talking Cans were destroyed. The idea was then proposed to utilize a Gatorade bottle as the new implement with which to enforce this revolutionary scheme, however it was decided that the sound of the title "Talking Gatorade Bottle" was not particularly palatable and a change was imperative. Hence the creation of The Talking Cup, a white paper like depository in which coffee would often normally be poured, filled with numerous beige paper napkins and finished with a white top. The aforementioned napkins provided the Cup with a pleasing weight and density as to sustain any wrath possibly inflicted upon it in the future.

On the night of July 24, 2014 after fairly heated discourse among themselves, the triumvirate of Bobby, Alex, and Champ resolved to bestow the honor of Guardian of The Talking Cup upon a lowly second year by Champ, the first to hold such a prestigious title. The chosen second year was a juvenile by the name of Thomas. This wise and well-mannered individual was prime Talking Cup Guardian material: he utterly respected and revered The Talking Cup and all its Glory, he attended the daily councils regarding the state of affairs of his fellow second year comrades, and finally he demonstrated noteworthy maturity specifically for an individual of his adolescence. Upon accepting such distinction and prestige doned upon him by the founding triumvirate, it was of great importance that said individual made a pledge to return the following year as to sustain the tradition that the founding three labored so vigorously to create.

In conclusion, although The Talking Cup may not be as renowned as some might expect, it is only a matter of time before the world knows and respects the greatest creation known to mankind. Although at the time of publication the term was almost over, The Talking Cup is expected to surge in popularity and in time it will be respected and revered by all.

      • Talking Cup Website:
      • For any future third years attempting to select an individual to carry on the legacy, refer to the requirements listed above.