(For the record, this song was inspired by a passionate telling of the jewel of TIPlore on which it was based by the legendary Peter Sloan, over a healthy dosage of the equally legendary Ben & Jerry's. Colin wrote it later that night and announced its marvelous creation at the next day's RAG meeting.) The setting was the final talent show on Friday night, East Term II 2008. A third year by the name of Colin Groundwater got up with his guitar to sing a song he wrote himself.
And so began the saga.
He sang about the epic battle of RPS between Mark Marvelli and David DeWeese. Legend has it that, after a neck-and-neck game, Marvelli threw down his only weapon: fire. And then DeWeese threw the only defense: water. Marvelli was mercilessly defeated.
Thus, as Colin stood on the stage singing this song, he paused in the music, looked at the audience, and shouted, "WATER, BITCH!" The overwhelming volume of the cheers could be heard for miles and miles.
Had there been a winner of the talent show that year, he would have been it, hands down. His phrase will go down in history at East forever.
A video of this can be found on Emily Fry and Nicki Lemay's website on the Talent Show page (toward the bottom on the right, I believe)!: http://web.mac.com/mleefry/Site/Welcome.html
The original lyrics to Water Bitch were passed down at the end of the 2009 term to be read the following year, but nobody knows to whom.
In 2010 at East Term II, on the last night, fourth year Frank James played "Water, Bitch" outside among a gathered group of tipsters and RCs. The tipsters' shout of "WATER, BITCH!" was heard clear across the night sky.