Cult of Cornelius Christ

A cult based on the worship of a crucified spider monkey. It offended many Christian Tipsters, as well as many of the governing Residential Counselors. The cult, through offerings, raised the sum of $10 dollars, a small unidentified metal object, and 500,000 hours of free AOL trial disks. Most of the monetary offerings are attributed to , who prayed daily to Cornelius. The origins of the metal object and the AOL disks remains a mystery. All this went to the pockets (or trash cans) of Dave and Jesus, the founders of this cult.

The cult was inspired when Kyle/Jesus, told Dave about a crucified barbie his sister had on the wall of her apartment. Upon hearing of this, Dave crucified his spider monkey Cornelius, and together the forged the cult.

Cornelius Christ has one known living relative, .