From the archives of TiPWiki, the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Lanyardgate is, perhaps, one of the most heinous conspiracies that have been and will ever be conspired against Caity Kohler, an innocent and passionate TiPster. To blame for this incident are the following: , Reid Mansur, and Holden. The ratio of guilt for each party is represented by 2:5:3. The event occurred on July 13th, 2016 in Jones College of Rice University. As Cate arrived to her suite at 4:15 for free hour, she was filled with a rush of joy-- ah! The long-awaited, coveted orange lanyards had arrived, and Cate, an eager fourth year, dropped her things and prepared to receive this honor. Her phone then buzzed harshly in her pocket: a text from wham! (Zoe Beyer) read: "they ran out of lanyards again I'm so so sorry they should have them Saturday." She ignored it, knowing Zoe to be a joker. It buzzed again, this time from Reid: "i'm so sorry" "i didn't want to tell you" "they ran out of lanyards i'm really sorry" "oh no". Cate replied "you've gotta be fricking kidding me." Except she didn't say fricking. Reid assured that he was serious, and Cate more or less had a pissy fit. She had been sleep deprived, as it happens with TiPsters, and this hit her hard. She had waited for this all year! She had dreamed of the tears which would flood her eyes and trickle down her face when she placed that shoelace round her neck, of the things she would feel as she saw her young adulthood manifested in a neon string. Around 4:45, Reid arrived at her door. He stood with lip quivering, saying nothing, but snidely wearing a lanyard the color of a sun on his chest. Distraught, Cate slammed the door in his face and actually cried until dinner. At dinner, Maggie asked her, "why didn't you get a lanyard?" Scathingly, she replied, "what?" Maggie then led her to her lanyard. Holden sat laughing, and Cate didn't know why until the next day. She ignored Reid and Zoe pointedly until the next day, when a bag of Truce Doritos (family sized nacho cheese, addressed with a message from Reid to Caity) appeared in her common area. She decided to forgive the pair, as they were two of her best friends. They were grateful for her forgiveness, and they then explained that Reid had suggested that they lie to her and then Holden and Zoe suggested he follow through with it, because he was Holden, and all he did was mess with campers apparently. Cate believes that this event is the one which caused him to place Mr. Brightside on the last dance's playlist, which sort of redeems him in her eyes. In honesty, it was a hilarious scandal, and the only real loss which sprung from it was a night spent mad at friends.