Llama (2005)

From the archives of TiPWiki, the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Put Llama llore from 2005 here

The Cremation

At Casino Day East II 2005, one RAG chose a mystery prize as their prize of choice. They opened the box to reveal a plastic container with grayish dust stuff inside. R.H.L Alex announced that they had chosen the llama's ashes as their prize. This, of course, was untrue, as Llama Mama Kathleen was spotted with the llama not soon after. In reality, the ashes were just burnt leaves. Edit: The burnt leaves were mixed in with dirt AND TIP DOLLARS!! The RAG that received the ashes was Benjamin's RAG, and on the last day of TiP the ashes were taken home by Melanie.

The Lost Llama

At Quadfest 2005, the llama was flown by the TA's with 100 helium-filled balloons. Needless to say, the llama floated lazily away towards Chapel Hill. It was chased by van until it disappeared through the clouds.

Rumors abounded. The llama was gone. The llama wasn't really in there. It was a duplicate llama. The llama was shot down by a sawed-off shotgun. The llama was found in someone's windshield in Chapel Hill. The llama was sold for sex.

On Tuesday, July 26, (that is, Monday night) the following letter appeared in :

Dear Tipsters,

I would like to apologize for the unfortuunate flight of the llama. I intended for it to fly, but I did not indend for it to soar towards Chapel Hill beyond our reach. As you heard at Quad Fest we attempted to chase it until we could not find it above the clouds. We never imagined that it would go so far.

I was here at TIP in 1996, the year that the llama was originally stolen from the Duke Classroom. I have met all but one of its protectors. As a result, I fully understand the loss of this icon of TIP. My only defense is that our hope is to add to the llama's long and storied tradition.

I still hope that it will return. I imagine that it is no longer flying. Though we did not add its explanatory note, on its foot there is writing on a piece of tape. It reads: "return and you will be rewarded handsomely" along with my undisclosed phone number.

All I can offer for now is that TIP has many other traditions. Use this loss to recover old strengths. Remember to make a circle during American Pie or to learn the words to End of the World. Fourth years start planning for your skit and other years start planning for next Quad Fest. Most importantly remember that TIP is about Tipsters, not pi´┐Żatas, though I hope we find this one.

  • Meredith: the T/A for Philosophy in Literature and Film (aka the commie class)

Edit: Although many fools believed this, the Llama Posse, especially the Llama Mama, were not convinced. There was a $100 bet offer made by Kathleen, to anyone who was willing to bet that the Llama was actually gone and would never be returned. Needless to say, I explained the situation many times to many people who insisted she was truly gone, but never was taken up on the bet. My RC, Evelyn, actually admitted upon questioning that very day that they really did release a FAKE llama into the air, and did not mean for it to fly away. They expected it to land on the quad, at which point a herd of Tipsters would attack it to retrieve the precious Llama. Everyone was surprised when it flew away. Evelyn was later scolded for giving away this information, but it doesn't matter, because she kicks ass. And we knew it was a lie anyway, seeing as no one ever addressed me or any tipster personally about the situation, and I was given at least 3 personal face-to-face apologies when the Llama Flight Plans went awry (aka...lame). It was not fathomable that no one would say a word to me if the Llama were really lost.

On Tuesday (?) the rumor was spread that someone in Chapel Hill had found the Llama, and that the staff was negotiating for its return. Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, negoations were made between Llama Posse members and Meredith for the return of The Llama Wednesday during lunch. On Wednesday (?) the llama was brought into the Union dining hall during lunch and was kept at the RC table. A strange woman was there, and she approached the llama posse at their table after they stole it back from the RC table, which was a very anti-climactic but nevertheless tricky snatch job done by and , which consisted of taking The Llama away from whoever was holding her. The woman pretended she had found it at her home in Chapel Hill, and asked to hug it one last time. However, the Llama Posse was not convinced, especially after Dr. Kane (who was sitting next to them) revealed that the woman worked for Duke and was in charge of hiring people (RC's?). Finally, after all of this, a picture appeared on the last page of the 2005 Termbook. It showed RC Steve creating a duplicate llama.

Meredith, the TA who released the Llama (along with London, TA for the Human Machine), told her class that she actually did not think the Llama-imposter that was released would go very far. She was also genuinely disappointed; she wanted to keep the Llama's clone.