Carl Wolff

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Carl Wolff
Carl glaring at his webcam.
Campus(es) Trinity University Term II, Duke East Term II
Attended 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016
Course(s) Engineering Problem Solving, Algebra II, Bach to Rock, Information Security
RAG(s) Byron, Jordan, Travis, Adam
Roommate(s) Jesse Zhang, Addison W and Jason Wu, Yash Dalvi, Greg Svirnovsky
Social Media


Carl Wolff arrived at Trinity Univeristy and immediately locked himself in the 3rd floor lounge. His parents came up and wished him farewell whilst his brother gazed around at the University and the Atrium. There and then, Carl knew that he was going to have a heck of a time at the Duke TIP program.


Loves to play computer games: Dota 2, TF2, SF2,

Trinity University Term 2 2013

After being abandoned by his parents, Carl quickly attained the leadership role in RAG group of Byron along with A-Swag, and Jerome the Great. Carl immediately befriended Jesse, his roommate, and had DotA 2 parties all night every night amirite #420blazeit. Jerome and him constantly pranked others and as a result got put into timeout, which consisted of sitting in the 3rd floor lounge and listening to Summertime Sadness on repeat for the hour of free time taken away. Class was good as well, for Jesse was in it as well, as the ever so lovely Bryn Stryk as a girlfriend after evening study one class period. Things escalated quickly after the second dance, in which stuff happened to Bryn's best friend. Soon after that, Carl and Bryn could be found anywhere constantly eating face. On the last day of TiP, Jesse walked into their room finding Carl "making-out" with Bryn. Often they were known as the most hated RelationTIP because Carl was extremely rude whilst Bryn was very nice and caring. A special plan was forged on the last night that Carl and Bryn planned to go through with which involved meeting on the out-of-bounds stairwell to make-out and such. Bryn managed to fall asleep an hour after we were supposed to be in rooms, which ended with Carl frantically texting Bryn to wake up and get to the stairwell. Finally, on the last day, the couple was forced to part, as was with Carl and Jesse and Jerome and A-Swag and Phillip Ely.

Duke East Term 2 2014

Carl arrived at Duke East campus at 8 am; he was also the first person to arrive. Carl's relationTiP did not end so well this year. (edit: Garl 5evur) A girl named Taylor, a third year dumped him. As a result, he never wanted to see her again. One day, Carl put his wet sandals in front of the AC and the room stank of the foul stench of his feet. Jesse Zhang, his RAGmate, described the room as "your worst nightmare." Some people also died from the foul stench in his room. Carl also planned a scheme, to splash water on a RelationTIP and yell "thirsty!" He started collecting numerous amounts of water bottles, disguising his whole operation as a recycling center. Very sneaky. He has currently amassed a whole arsenal of these "water warheads". The date of operation is unknown.

Duke East Term 2 2015

Carl continuously blasted EDM and/or Nasty Freestyle on his speakers from day one, and always ate the banana at lunch. He also identified as a strawberry and was probably a necrophiliac. He entered a relationtip with Taylor and that was a thing for the first week or so before she broke up with him. His second relationtip ended in flames too, as a risky text led to a breakup. His third was brief and overall less dramatic. During this time, Carl captained the Harder Defense (the third year team) even though he hurt his wrist laying out. He was incessantly salty the entire term, whether about his ex's new relationtip or being passed up for lazer dragons. He is now in a loving relationship with salt.

Product Review

"A cool, nice, emotional, forgiving, and often smelly friend that will stand by your side, no matter the situation. 6/9"Jesse Zhang (2013 Trinity roommate; 2014 East RAG Member)

"10/10 best vice Jordan" Alex Eldridge (2014 RAGmate)

"1/1 breast bromance brever' Kevin Rose (2014 boyfriend)

Contact Information

Twitter: @drkazzy

Instagram: wolffpxk

Steam: Pulpo (As of 8/1/2016)