Conrad Schott

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Conrad Schott is probably the coolest person ever to live. But "cool" is too vague and ambiguous a word to use to describe Conrad, which is why his nickname was "Captain Fantastic," as I (Kathleen Mayer) dubbed him. He was my partner in pool, and we systematically destroyed all teams who challenged us. Probably because our strategy was "being awesome." He was famous for wearing silly hats, often with flowers and often very colorful, and crocs. He also had long hair and wore a wonderbread shirt a lot, inspiring one of the first Oh Noetry poems, which was written using his back as a desk. He also liked to wear knee-high socks with crazy-colored stripes and was an integral part of the Llama Posses of both '04 and '05. His poetry was astounding, especially the poem he read at the '05 talent show, entitled (I think) "Hamdog." He also cohosted the with me and . He could sometimes be seen wearing a shirt that exclaimed "More Cowbell!," inspiring the short-lived Llama Bell. He also knew John Birch from outside of TiP, which automatically makes him a winner all-around. Conrad Schott is a real grade A citizen. Classy. Sensitive. Knowledgeable about grammar. Loveable. Conrad.


Conrad is the bearded one. I like to think he is the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln, except a better dancer.