Oh Noetry
Bad poetry, oh noetry! Oh Noetry is a book of bad poems. A composition notebook was found lying open on a picnic table outside of the one day during Term II 2005, by numerous PILFers including and . They read it aloud with much laughter during their computer lab class time and left it there, where it was found again by Mel Weyant and , who could not help but share it with the rest of the Llama Posse and all of TIP. Inspired by the writer's genius, people quickly began contributing to the notebook themselves, with purposely terrible poetry. coined the term "Oh Noetry," based on a Toothpaste for Dinner comic strip. It should be noted that the first two contributions by tipsters were by the Llama Mamas of '05 and '06, (Kathleen Mayer and Eric Mefford), respectively. Since that fateful day, the Oh Noetry book has been filled with poems written by TIPsters (mostly fourth years from the Llama Posse). The poems in the Oh Noetry book are intentionally written horribly, except for the first two poems, which are of unknown origin. We can only hope that they didn't come from a young writer.
The two original poems in their perfect untouched form:
- Somethings happend
- Something bad
- Somethings happened
- Something sad
- My soul is crushed
- My spirit gone
- All I once was has said so long
- I can't find it
- I can't get it back
- But my spark isn't all I lack
- Someone has been erased
- From time and thought
- And somehow
- I doubt this person fought.
- Shopping
- Its not as easy as it seems
- It could take 5 hours
- to find the pumps of your dreams
- But I love shopping
- After 3 hours
- of searching all the sales
- you find the perfect skirt
- you try it on it fails.
- But still I love shopping
- Those pumps of your dreams
- now they start to hurt
- you take them of regretfully
- as you put back that perfect skirt
- But still we love shopping.
- going home with blisters
- 20 bags in hand
- now we must go shopping
- to find the perfect man
The oh-noetry book tradition was carried on in 2006 by Devin Alford and very nearly filled up by mostly fourth years and some kick ass third years too. Sadly, someone left the book back stage after the talent show and the doors to the auditorium remained locked.
To go to the Oh Noetry LJ community, click here
An example Oh Noetry:
- Starbucks Frappucino
- Like cappuccino,
- Or Al Pacino
- Except... frothy. Or frappy.
- Mmm, corporations.
Two poems written at East II '05 about Kinky Tom:
"Kinky & Open-Minded"
- Oh Tommy, Kinky Tommy
- I bet you'd like to call me "mommy"
- You like black leather and sexy whips
- When you drink rum, your morals slip
- You like the girlies and the boyzes
- Moaning's not enough, you make animal noises
- I know what you want
- But how could I deliver?
- We'd simultaneously play Doctor, Horny dogs,
- AND Victim and Killer
- I don't have enough holes
- To satisfy you
- I couldn't play enough roles
- At once, but I'd love to ride you
- I bet you wish there were not 2, but 3 genders
- You'd take it rough, nuclear, and sometimes
- Tender
- Oh Tom, to unlock your boundless sexuality
- Is impossible
- But I know if I asked you for ANYTHING
- You'd go "Yeah, that's plausible."
"Tasty Fresh"
- Too much bad poetry,
- Oh noetry
- I'm dreaming of Kinky boys
- From Kinky Tom I hear orgasmic noises
- I've got a big erection!
- Your dildo is surely delicious confection
- Yeah, verily
- This is the best shit I've ever smoked, merrily!
- You just got syphillis,
- Must've been that wet, kinky Tom kiss
- Just cause I suck dick
- Doesn't mean you should too
--I believe this one was a collaboration, but written mainly by
Note that not everything in those poems is entirely accurate.
2006
The oh-noetry book tradition was carried on in 2006 by Devin Alford and very nearly filled up by mostly fourth years and some kick ass third years too. Sadly, someone left the book back stage after the talent show and the doors to the auditorium remained locked.
Examples of oh-netry from 2006 follow.
Benny's Story
Benny be saggin in da hood. He be walkin in, up to no good. He be throwin rocks at dem po-folks, cause they weren't blingin like your boy. (checkit, yo)
Da chase commence after he pops 'em a moon, den he started rollin, like his favorite tune. Da enemys car was all up in his grill, and Benny took a straight trippin spill, (Check one, two, three...anything but that!)
He woke up on a stool, dat much is true, Der was a noose around his neck, he was feelin pretty blue. He jumped off da stool and the noose came undone, Den the sticks started flyin, but they didn't have no guns. (cause that wouldnt be TiPpropriate son!)
Benny started treddin cross New York, but fell into a sewer, man, what a dork! Oops, I mean foo, yeah foo. (Check it dawg!)
Benny, we ain't callin you out, we just want da truff. Man, peace out (person of African American descent)!
BY: Alexis Chaney, Devin Alford and Jacob Smith
Comment by Benny: and that's the true story of how I was unsuccessfully lynched
Greek Classics
Oedipus was a motherfucker.
Literally, haha.
Someone should really sucker-
Punch him, yah!
-Emma Miller
See also .