John Birch

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John Birch was the RLC at East in 2006 and 2007.


He is always referred to using both his first and last name, except by those who are part of his (unofficial) fan club. The original John Birch groupies (you can call them Birchies) are Emily Greenwood and Melanie Ouellette, who on their last RAG night made him a pink shirt bearing the words "I ♥ Emily & Melanie." He wore this shirt during the last dance of Term I.

The 2006 staff thought it was hilarious to substitute John Birch's name in Chuck Norris jokes. For example: "John Birch once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean." For more (i.e. non-TIPropriate) fun with this, type "Chuck Norris jokes" into Google. A clue from the treasure hunt actually led to "Main Actor Walker Texas Ranger." At the time there was no knowledge of the staff's inside joke, and almost no RAG's discovered the meaning of the clue.

Sam Bagg still maintains that his Term I RAG actually created Sam Bagg jokes. He asserts that Sam Need was jealous and said they should start making John Birch jokes instead. Neither of the claims have been substantiated.

According to Grahame, of the class High Spirits, John Birch is Chuck Norris squared.

Grahame of the High Spirits class also wrote a story that was centered around a man called Nuck Chorris but John Birch appeared early on, along with Daag, The Fonz, Wayne Brady, etc. etc., and actually defeated the Evil Chipmunk when Nuck Chorris was dead(?) or at least had disappeared. This story left the class in hysterics but was completely wonderful anyway.


In 2007, Benny Alexander founded the at a mandatory fun activity called "found a religion."

The trivia team Da Black Panthers found out that John Birch is 6th in line to be president should everyone else die.