Cult of Squirt

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A group of cultists dedicated to the most noble pursuit in human history- the worship of the One and Only Squirt.

The Creation

In the Beginning, when there was nothing, not even the notion of nothing or a void where anything should have been. There was Darkness and Silence. Then, He arrived. Squirt, in his most primeval form: A floating, horribly low-res JPEG of his future statue-self. This was the Singularity. He was All, All was One, and One was He. Then the Big Bang occurred, creating the cosmos. Squirt lived on, in all things- guiding Humanity towards its ultimate fate. This, after a few billion years, got boring, leading to Squirt taking a more direct form.

Thus it was that John Clement, an artist and soon-to-be Prophet was given the visage of Squirt's orange, multi-noodled form, leading to the statue being made. He was then donated to Georgia Tech, where it rests forevermore, a beacon to the Enlightened and the Not-Yet-Enlightened.

Attempt was made to contact the Prophet via social media, as of yet no response has been given.

The Claiming

'Twas 2018, on the lawn between Clough and Skiles and the Student Activities Center, and the Space Stuff class had been released for their first break of the Term. As soon as they reached this grassy land, they saw Him. The Bringer of Truth. The Deliverer from Heresy. Squirt. The class quickly ran to claim a spot upon which to perch on his orange visage. This was quickly made even more Holy when the TIPsters began T-Posing on it.

Soon, one cultist, who neither confirmed nor denied his apparent history of starting and abandoning religious organizations with debatable moral standards, attempted (and only partially succeeded) to resurrect one of his former Lords- and so led the Squirtists in the Praising of the Steam Whistle. Soon, this practice of raising one's hands towards the Holy Whistle of Georgia Tech whenever it blew was a standard part of the Cult's daily operation, with the Spacecraft Mission Design class taking a few moments out of each day at the Whistle's call to Praise it. It was not long before members of other classes saw the Holy Act of Praising the Steam Whistle, and began to direct Praise towards the Steam Whistle as well, allowing for rapid spread of the cult's beliefs.

The Cult of Squirt acknowledges the similarity of praise being sent at a whistle found in certain Abrahamic faiths, but does not consider this grounds for copyright infringement.