The Mandate of Heaven
The following was copied and pasted from Mark Marvelli's State Department-blanked article [Edit: Apparently not...], and in thus such is in need of a little revision. It is a story of epic triumph, defeat, and most of all, balls.
Now a little bit of background:
For those of you unfamiliar with the sacred rules of the child's game known as Rock, Paper, Scissors, you should know there are actually five throws one can attempt in ROSH. They are Rock, Paper, Scissors, Water, and Fire. The typical throws are the first three, however, every human is afforded only ONE fire throw in his lifetime. According to Peter Sloan, an authority on such matters, after one's fire is used, "a little piece of your soul actually slips out and dies." Fire beats everything, except for water. Water, on the other hand, can be used as many times as one desires but LOSES to everything except fire. [Edit: it should be noted that these throws ("fire" and "water" are ACTUALLY RECOGNIZED by the Ultimate Players Association. That's so insanely cool.]
The story all begins with a former TiPster and staff member named Mark Marvelli.
One day, while dining in the Union, he and a meek, kind staffer named David DeWeese decided to ROSH--over the Mandate of Heaven. For those unfamiliar with the Mandate of Heaven, he who wins it gains control over the Temporal Domain for an age (an age typically being defined as 1,000 years).
So by this point, there were about five, six, maybe ten onlookers waiting for the results of the game. The stakes were high, the players polar opposites. There was Marvelli, a sort of tricky character. Winning this would give him unrestrained power, and no one wanted that. Playing him was DeWeese. He did people favors. He could be trusted. They opened with the standard mark of respect for serious players- rock. No one was surprised.
But at this point, DeWeese slipped up a little bit, and threw an ill-advised scissors to Marvelli's rock. It was now 1-0.
Now, there was about half the union looking on. It's common knowledge that when one loud thing happens in the Union, everyone pays attention. I mean seriously, Young Writers were actually sobbing.
At this time, they began their third throw. Marvelli went down once, twice. As he started to unfurl his hand, some say that Sam- Marvelli's best friend- could see a tiny little glint in his eye, a curl in his smile. Some say that DeWeese saw it too--but this is a completely unsubstantiated rumor.
Marvelli came down... FIRE.
The room was SILENT. People were in shock--how could this have happened?
As a mere afterthought, people turned their attention to DeWeese. Some say they just wanted to see the look on his face; others wanted to see what he had lost with. No one considered the possibility that he might have won.
At that moment, DeWeese stood. Rising from his chair, he leaned over the table, hand held out in Marvelli's face. He shouted:
"WATER, BITCH!!!"
The sheer force of this TOPPLED Marvelli back over his chair. The room exploded. Shaken, Marvelli rose and threw just a completely ridiculous, weak paper to DeWeese's scissors.
The game was over.
DeWeese had won! This is the one recorded time in history that water actually beat fire.
And that is how the Mandate of Heaven was won.
Note:This was one of the most important stories in all TIP history. If you would like to hear the story in person, with ten times the power/effect, contact either Will Harris or Peter Sloan, or if you're really bold Sam Prevatt, for further information. If they are not available, you may email ssareader@aol.com for the video taping of the story being told as of TIP East Term 1 told in 2009.
The Mandate of Heaven was held by Peter Sloan
An age is said to have ended after 1,000 years. However, the Mandate of Heaven may be revoked from its wielder in times of famine, disease, or economic hardship. Realizing this, Zachary Taylor and Becca Flank brought this knowledge to the attention of Colin Groundwater, the Llama Mama, who in turn brought this knowledge to the public. In light of the economic recession and the outbreak of the swine flu during East Term II '09, 2/3s of the requirements had been fulfilled, and it was decided that the time to revoke the Mandate of Heaven had come. The obvious competitors would be Peter Sloan and Will Harris, the winner decided in a traditional battle of ROSH.
Following the announcement of East Term II '09 being canceled, the battle for the Mandate was moved up a few hours from the originally scheduled date. This live battle was in fact live, as Peter Sloan and Will Harris admitted during the impromptu "TiP Llore" seminar during that night's regularly scheduled mandatory fun. The original plan was to do a private ROSH before the public one, and the winner of the private game would be the winner of the much choreographed public game later that day. Again, due to the devastating news about the cancellation of TiP, there was no time to choreograph the match, and thus the fight for the Mandate of Heaven witnessed by all TiP East Term II '09 was in fact the definitive battle for the Mandate.
Nicki Lemay and Emily Fry's video of the Battle: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa4r8t_battle-for-the-mandate-of-heaven_webcam
The Mandate of Heaven is now held by Harrison Bidwell
Again, in 2016, the Mandate was revoked due to Zika Virus and economic trauma of Brexit. Harrison Bidwell and Ben were settled upon to compete for the Honor. The match was settled to begin at 4:08pm on July 25th, though it was delayed until 4:11pm. Both competitors started with the Gentlemen's Throw, setting the tone for the legitimacy of each's claim to the Mandate. The next round, Ben threw scissor, losing to Harrison's rock. Round three was declared a draw as Harrison threw another rock into a debatable misfire/rock from Ben. In the next round, Ben had analyzed Harrison's strategy. Harrison laid down the rock to complete his avalanche as Ben won with paper. Harrison knew, though, that if at first you don't succeed, throw another rock. In Round 5, both sides hit with rock. Next round, Harrison remained steadfast, a move that Ben did not expect. Harrison's rock beat Ben's scissor, and the Mandate of Heaven was won by Harrison Bidwell.