Veir Patel

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All you need to know is.... what a winner. Veir was known for his incredible dancing skills and ability to ruin everyone’s dinner in silent fashion. He is the source of the mysterious brown food which remains on the Great Hall Wall to this day. He also beat the legendary Haroon at NBA jam and won The Amazing Quadfest Slapoff versus Shane Reagan. Veir was known for his legendary stories that he made on the spot. Veir and Wil Hartter are also the only 2 members of the Tip FAA (Farmers Association of America). He was part of the Haroon 5.


Story Time with Veir


Boy... have I ever told you the story when I was in Nam. Well, I was in Nam and I told my General "General, how can I help you?" My General told me "Boy you need to go run through the trenches and go to Dead Man's Land" I told General, "Why would I do that that's suicide?" General said "Cause, YOU DON'T MATTER IN THIS WAR!!!!" I said "Okay." and you know what I did? I ran through the trenches and went to Dead Man's Land. And Guess what... I survived. but... I did get shot 6 the nutsack. I came back to General, bloody nutsack clenched in my hand and I said "Do I matter now?" General said "Boy, I'm proud of you." Then General sowed my nutsack back together... with his mouth. That is why to this day my nutsack is sowed together and why I cant clench my legs together (or my nutsack will burst).


Have I ever told you why I don't eat applesauce with a spoon? Well back on the farm... if you wanted applesauce you had to make your own spoons. So one day I was at the table and I told my mama "mama, can I have some applesauce?" Now everybody knows farm folk are very hardworking, independent people. And my mama said "Boy don't make me whip you! You know you have to make your own sponn if you want to eat applesauce!" I was realy tired from plowing and I said "Im too tired mama!" Suddenly mama's expression changed and she said "its ok ill make you one." She went to the back and came back with some applesauce and a spoon. I ate that applesauce up and then I licked the spoon... and to my surprize the spoon tasted rellly good! So, I ate the spoon. A couple hours later, I was pooping real runny do I knew it was the applesauce when suddenly I felt a tug in my butthole! So I had a spoon stuck in my butthole and I started felling realy high. It turns out, the spoon mama made was made from LSD. To this day I have an LSD spoon stuck in my butthole. And every time I take a pooooooo I get realy high. Also when I fart the people around the fart cloud get realy high.

The Dark Side of Veir

The Balloon Incident

One day, Veir came to a group in the hallway, just sitting and chatting. He was carrying half of a balloon tied to a string. He started saying that if he hit himself, it did not hurt. To prove this, he hit himself, then started hitting others in the group. They yelled at him to stop, but he continued to beat them with the balloon, loudly exclaiming "IT DOESN'T HURT!" Stephen eventually wandered by and took the balloon. So what did Veir do? He went back into his room, retrieved the other half of the balloon, and started hitting people with it. This was also confiscated.