Anna was a first-year fourth year at LSU Term 2 2019. Though she was only there for a brief time, she contributed (not) much to society. Though she began her TIP career nearly silent and barely talking to anyone, by the end, she had metamorphosed into a ballsier, cooler version of herself, who cussed, quoted vines, made people laugh, and successfully landed a platonic date with Theo Ward to TIP Prom. Hopefully, this version of Anna will someday resurface once more.
Contributions to Society
- Excessive fangirling over Keanu Reeves.
- Supplying Haley's BBs with duct tape.
- Becoming Brad, Sexiest Man Alive. Works the inch-long silver nails like no other.
- Writing and directing the critically acclaimed play "God's Eye View", starring (in order of appearance) Theo Ward, Carrie Cardin, and Brianna Bowers.
- Telling the tragic tale of Notorious S.A.D. at the talent show.
- Looking like the female version of Ollie MN.
- BUSTING a NUT!
- The Oh Shit A Rat dance.
- Being able to do one actually good dance move, something she calls the Matrix Flop. She demonstrated this in the Dance-Off, in which she, in drag, spazzed around to "Wild Thoughts" before implementing the M.F. She promptly ruined this by Fortnite Dancing.
- Sat down on a table at the second dance. Was about to talk to Theo when she suddenly fell off said table. She ran off to drown her shame in fruit punch.
- Once slept so late she had to sprint to class without fixing her hair, it was then that everybody learned how obscenely long her bangs really were.
- The story of Edgy Dora.
- Impulsively had her hair ombre'd by Diana. It turned out gorgeously. Thank you again, Diana!
- Played her very first VR game at Duke TIP with roomate, and fellow future American soldier, Bella Martin. They dominated Simurai, Anna took out both final bosses. When Anna got back in line, she was placed with a group of young adults who wanted to play Zombyte. During that game, Anna hysterically screamed and swore, but managed to hold her ground and finish off the final boss. She did lose that game.
- Being so sleep-deprived on the last night that she "drunk-texted" the wrong people "love ya biiiiiitch". While apologizing, she misspelled nearly every word. 24 sleepless hours will screw with ya.
- Is of German and Scandinavian blood.
- Though she considers herself somewhat of a metalhead, her favorite singer is Elton John.
- Is the biggest Keanu Reeves fan known to mankind.
- Her Keanu collection includes, but is not limited to, an autographed photo covered in foam hearts, a hardcover edition of The Art of The Matrix, over fifty photographs and drawings littering her room, and a custom-made tee.
- Can give an extensive lecture on the life of Keanu Reeves, right down to his exact time of birth.
- Sounds like a Bill and Ted-era Keanu Reeves when allergies hit. Sadly, she had recovered by the time she arrived at TIP.
- Has a modest CD collection with everything from German industrial metal to The Simpsons soundtrack.
- Self-taught recorder god.
- Credits drama club and theater class with helping her overcome her profound social delayment.
- Has four little sisters.
- Lives on a mountain.
- Had never asked a guy to a dance by herself before TIP. Thanks for the memories, Theo me lad, you will always have my two thumbs up.
- Copied Theo's picture
XD It's an old pic from last December, I used it b/c I still had long hair in it
Post - TIP Status Updates
As of October 11, 2019:
- Anna's dog, Butter, died. She is survived by her brother, Peanut. Both pupper and owner are acting as each other's therapy animals.
- Anna chopped off a significant portion of her luscious locks. She now sports a shaggy bob that has already caused people to question her gender.
- Anna will be enlisting in the National Guard in about a month. She has been looking forward to this moment for years, so pray she does not develop any debilitating medical conditions.
- Anna has adopted a concrete Sasquatch. His name is Karl. He is a handsome young man.
- Anna made it into National Honor Society because she's a hecking nerd.
- Anna is still single, unemployed, and on the lookout for a respectful, affectionate ball python to make hats for, carry around like a scarf, and smuggle along to college.
As of November 14, 2019:
- Anna celebrated her 17th birthday less than two weeks ago. One of her favorite presents was a portable CD player, and she has now ascended to a whole new level of hipster by carrying it along to school.
- Anna has entered her school's talent show, and hopes to bring introduce the story of S.A.D. to yet another audience. Pray for her.
- Anna enlisted today in the NC National Guard as a 13B cannon crewmember, beginning a long and arduous - yet most excellent - adventure. Pray for her even more.
- Anna also has many art pieces entered in her school's upcoming art show, including, but not limited to, a detailed sketch of Keanu Reeves, a trippy and terrifying pastel dreamscape, a bust of a Terminator-esque being, and a butt-ugly still life.
- Anna got a new hoodie.
- Anna ran her first half marathon in Nags Head, finishing third place in her age group. One of the highlights was when Duck Donuts manned one of the aid stations. Along with the water and gatorade, they also had a plate of donuts. Never one to turn down a sweet treat, she took one, and carried it almost two miles, gradually consuming it along the way.
As of December 17, 2019:
- Anna came out as bisexual after six years in the closet. So far, nobody has tried to lynch her for being a queer in Trumptown U.S.A. knock on wood.
- Also, apparently part of being bisexual is not being able to sit the right way, which Anna had always chalked up to the fact that she was born with a twisted pelvis. Fascinating.
- Anna has gone on her first drill weekend, in which the drill sergeant yeeted her Army Blue Book approximately fifteen times.
- Anna is seriously considering buzzing her hair before Basic Training.
- Anna is training for a second half-marathon and attempting to regrow the six-pack she tragically lost in the summer between freshman and sophomore year. Yes, this child had an honest-to-god six-pack. She could also do 48 push-ups, 10,000 crunches(yes, really, I had three hours to kill), and run a 5K in 24 minutes, 36 seconds. Barefoot. What the hecc happened[twenty pounds of flubb].
As of January 14, 2020
- Anna has landed the role of Lionel in a theatrical production of Back to the 80's. This role involves a whole lot of singing and dancing. She is the only girl playing a guy, which makes vocal practices interesting.
- Anna is considering asking a female friend she met at a creative writing weekend to her school's Homecoming. She is cute, funny, and a fellow writing nerd who just happens to be gay...except that said girl lives an hour and a half away... *steals helicopter*
- Anna decided to hike eight miles into the mountains with a 30 lb dumbbell in her backpack. It was a bad idea. Over half the trail was uphill. Her shoulders are still badly bruised.
- Anna is writing a novelette. So far, it is 25 pages long, and full of love, terror, and plant monsters.
As of May 7, 2020
- Bored in the house and I'm in the house bored.
- Obtained five fatass chickens. Anna will rejoice in the consumption of their unfertilized spawn.
- Also obtained a phone! No number yet, as she still has to get a SIM card.
- Has done many odd things in quarantine, including, but not limited to, watching almost all the MCU movies in chronological order, building a trashy replica of the Winter Soldier's arm, slit her eyebrows a combined total of six times(thank God they're growing back), dug a massive hole in the yard, and turned herself into a cyborg. She has also embarked on an online shopping blitz and is now the proud owner of a massive gay flag, a katana, a bobblehead of Bucky Barnes(he makes an excellent biking buddy), a set of suspenders made for a very tall man, and many random lapel pins.
- Cut her hair off. Thank GOD.
- Ships out to Army BASIC training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma, in about three weeks. H E L P .
As of August 22, 2020 GUESS WHO'S BACK BITCHES! That's right, Anna Windsor is an AMERICAN SOLDIER BITCHES! Her epic adventures this summer included the following:
- Rucking ten miles for time, carrying almost sixty pounds of gear on a sprained ankle and a bad hip, and being the first female to cross the finish(I think like twentieth overall, this was out of 204 trainees)!
- Sleeping in a teeny tiny tent in full gear, face covered in camo paint, hugging an M4 like a teddy bear!
- Finding an unlikely mentor/ally in my senior drill sergeant! 10/10 would charge a machine gun nest for that man!
- Getting a Sharpshooter medal for hitting 31/40 pop-up targets!
- Being nominated for the Louis C Birtz award for going from being a disaster with legs to being actually good! Had to compete for it! Came in second! A bit disappointed in myself but still YAY!
As of Sept 25, 2020
- Has a TikTok now. @sharkbonez. Hit her up.
- Is going to the gym as often as possible. Can now do 55 hand release pushups.
- School started and it already sucks ass.
- Bigot teacher got her in trouble cuz she wore a shirt with the rainbow flag and the words "if this flag offends you I'll help you pack". Was accused of bullying and participating in cancel culture, et cetera. Whereas the kids who wear far-right tees get to skip along just fineeee.
- Started reading Attack on Titan again after a two year hiatus due to the fact that the library had a limited supply of the manga. It is dope like soap.
- Got lowkey reddit famous on r/blunderyears after she posted a photo of herself at age 14/15 looking like a forty year old mom in a calf-length camouflage skirt. 9.6k upvotes, let's goooo.
As of Oct 19, 2020
- Started watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Not sure if she should blame Theo Ward, TIP nostalgia, amusing YouTube compilations of out-of-context clips, or Kars for being SO FUCKIN' ATTRACTIVE. But goddaaamn is that show a lot of fun.
- For some reason a lot of girls think she's hot now? It's either the hair or the army factor or the shameless dumbass confidence.
- I REPEAT, I HAVE A TIKTOK. It is liquid cringe, but she is having a lot of fun.
- Is failing pre-calculus.
- Discovered TIP is apparently shutting down, and even though she graduated her single year in 2019, she is still stupid depressed on behalf of all the younguns who will never get their fourth year. That was tied for my best summer ever.
- Turns 18 in a couple weeks Just in time to vote. Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
As of Feb 12, 2021
- Considers herself a full blown JJBA fan. Is working on Stone Ocean. Owns much random Jojo merch. Some homemade. Some from Hot Topic. Some from Japan.
- Is slowly becoming established on JJBA tiktok. As of now she is at 10.4k followers and is mutuals with almost all of her favorite cosplayers. Has a small but loyal fanbase. Yes, a fanbase. This is so trippy.
- Is now a frequent visitor to Hot Topic and is becoming more of an eboy every day. She is quite drippy, if she does say so herself.
- Has become severely depressed/anxious. Failing most classes and functioning in short, sporadic bursts of energy. Panic attacks are not fun. Her therapist is cool beans though.
- Recovering from Monster addiction. She once drank eight cans on a day when her anxiety was really acting up. Was twitching and randomly shrieking until like 3 AM. Her heartbeat was shaking her bed. Kids, don't become a frequent Monster drinker, it ain't worth it.
- Is currently building a life size cardboard cutout of Kars. She plans on taking her quarantine prom pics with him.
- Swam across the river behind her house. It was only a half mile long, but it was forty degrees and the water was freezing. Then she accidentally slapped an oyster and still has a scar four weeks later.
- Has semi-permanently moved to the beach and misses her homies back home.
- Has no idea how much she weighs but it can't be good. At an all-time low.