Fourth Year Will 2018
This page will serve as a collection of the Fourth Year Wills from the 2018 summer at TiP East Term 1. Many of these wills will be different than the ones in the term book, usually expanded. Each may be organized differently. Either way, we wanted a collective stop for all of us, a final resting place for our TiP experience.
I, William Morgan Lockhart, Keeper of the Hog, of childish mind and manly body, do leave the following things and thank the following people, in no particular order, for the following:
For Wilson, I leave a tender kiss in a romantic pizza shop. Neither of us like to lose, so we ended up in a win-win situation. I hope your tongue doesn't treat Sandy like that.
For Skippy and Spencer, I leave a never-ending joke that sprouted from nothing and spread like fire. Now all of Duke East knows "Sporkle water makes big cums," and all of its variations. May it outlive us.
For Anna, I leave a 👌. You looked, I got you. Even in the will. I'm sorry, but sometimes it be like it do.
For Michael Hammer, I leave almost three summers of happiness and troublemaking. You haven't changed a bit since I met you and I love you for it.
For Nick, I leave a hope that you'll never have another kid as troublesome as I. Never forget the double sided knocking, the ceaseless oinks, and the mad dash down the hallway.
For Michael, I leave six and a dab. I don't know how we came up with it, but it stuck.
For Shea, I leave any part of me that could be considered Rick-like. I've spent this term calling you Morty, and maybe it's bullying, but no one else will ever look more similar to him than you do, and I love you for it.
For Tristan, I leave any trace of superhuman in me. You could clearly beat me in an arm wrestling contest (I mean, LOOK at those biceps!).
For Rory, I leave a set of sunglasses, because those eyes are gonna capture any man that sees them. Maybe tone that down a little.
For Sandy, I leave any article of clothing except that shirt. It's mine, I got it because I went to nationals, and maybe, just maybe, I'll buy myself another one so you can keep it :).
For Henry, I leave any trace of musical talent that I have. Not that you need it, because you clearly don't, but because I'm in this awkward spot where I'm just good enough to be in your company when making music.
Sandy Baker: Thank you for being a constant ray of southern sunshine. Your happiness and energy never failed to wake me up in the morning or brighten my day. Never change, I love you so much for that. Thank you for representing us so well, as our stilettos. I'm so grateful that you were the one who lead our fourth year class to greatness. I love you.
Skippy: Thank you for our unique connection. Clearly, something happens to boys who spend all year long around boys. Suddenly the letter "E" and simply saying "sporkle" can make us laugh so hard we have milk running out our noses. You have joined a very small group of people with whom I have made such an instant and special connection with. There's no one else who has the same ideas at the same time as me, save you.
Abi: Thank you for being a wonderful roommate. I know we haven't been particularly close before this year, but your constant energy and "oh shit it's 8:55" moments never cease to impress me. You've done me a real service. Maybe lay off the Chick-fil-a cookies though.
Ani: Thank you for being a constant for these three summers - we weren't close after that first year (gee I wonder why??) but you always were there reminding me how far I'd come, and you never passed the opportunity to make my TiP experience a little bit better.
Taylor: Thank you for being you. I love how stunned you are looking at the stars, I love hearing stories about your family friends abusing their horses, and I love that I'll forever have you down the block to take me back to this place we call home.
Madi: Thank you for taking me as a brother. It probably was weird when on the first day I asked Olivia if she was Madi, but I think I've made up for it. You've been a wonderful substitute for my sister, and I'm thinking about replacing her with you. Your kindness and happiness will take you far. Never lose them.
Ronald: Thank you for the weird touching, for the jokes, and for the love. You taught me about friendship. I miss you a ton. Your hugs never ceased to make me feel a lot better.
Soren, and the whole LGBTQ community here: Thank you for helping a southern boy learn. Before I came to TiP I was a social conservative, but I've learned that if something makes someone happy and doesn't take away from my own happiness, there's no reason not to do it. I'm so glad that I'm able to be part of this community where sexuality and gender are so drastically different than at home.
Will: Thank you for teaching me that there are other ways to lead people than to yell them into submission. Your quiet, humble leadership showed me that people are more likely to follow someone they love. You certainly blew me away. Thank you for always being there to put a smile on my face and to show me what friendship is really about.
Wilson: Thank you for being happy and energetic ALL the fucking time. You get excited at everything, and that truly made me feel valued this term. We weren't particularly close last year, but you're a great man, and you'll go far. I can't believe my time with you is coming to a close.
Lily: Thank you for an amazing week of friendship. I can't elaborate, and you know why, but come visit Dallas soon. I miss you.
Michael: Thank you for so much. I'm so grateful that we were roommates last year; we spent our nights learning from each other and rounding our rough edges. I've kept your end-of-term letter in my wallet since you wrote it. It's truly turned my life around on several occasions. Your undying belief in me, even when you didn't know it, was saving a life. Never change anything but some of your political views. I love you more than I can say, and I will never, ever forget you.
Henry: Thank you for always providing me with both a shoulder to cry on and a machine that spits out solutions. Your friendship and guidance has been invaluable to me these past two years, and my time at TiP would be worse-off without it. You are, by a long shot, the smartest person I know, but your ego never trips you up, and I'm grateful to have a role model like you in my life.
Finally, the Reflection
A long time ago I didn’t believe in much of anything, but TiP made me believe in love; this place has done more for me than I can put on this page. Forever will salmon bricks and fair weather remind me of this place that I call home. The quad’s green grass has dried my blood, my sweat, my tears. No place I’ll hold in such reverence, no bronze statue in such fame. Never will I find such talented friends, who strive to seek and find but never yield. In no place will I ever learn as much as I have here; for though my thought has deepened, I’ve learned the most to love. I’ll never be able to come back here, to this state of mind, to this place where happiness and love thrive. So as I turn my head away, and this world’s edges start to frey, and as I leave this one last time, I’ll be forever out of mind. And in my final moments here, as my connection disappears, I’ll be true: I love you, may we meet again.
Bolded words are those which I have added since submission of my will. Wills were due on Thursday of the second week, and a lot of things have happened since then.
I, Sadie Rose Siegel, of mom mind and slut body, hereby bequeath the following: to Eden, a kazoo solo (rip); to Karissa, my grandpa; to Alexis, my hooves and a healthy right foot; to Hannah Hedley, Judaism and lax bros; to Allison Yingst, Wagon Wheel, some privacy with Bo, and a Sharpie tattoo which will never wash off the Basset wall; to Fiona, sunscreen; to Ellen, a bottomless fanny-pack; to Becky, nail polish colors other than purple; to Skippy (IIX), sporkle water and spiders(mmm); to Will Snider, a pillow at the airport; to Paul, a Coca Cola shirt you wore to at least 2 dances; to Reece, the perfect ThotKnot (and 2 doggies); to Søren, dog- and diet-coke-stickers; to Maggie, leadership of G.A.C.S.(Girls Against Cargo Shorts) and, hopefully, a great 4th year; to Lucy Colangelo, TIP motherhood, but you already have that; to Shannon, exclusive referencing rights to the “and they were roommates” vine; to Amelia Wilson, our Disney World utopia; to Lily Smith, your barbaric YAWP; to Shelly, an awesome Croakie; to my History of the Future class, subtle communism (FUCK admin censorship btw); to Kate’s rag, Big Time Rush choreography and presidents; to Asia’s rag: Beaches (1988), friendship bracelets, and applesauce brownies; to operation d(ark)ty/shenanigang: the RCs who patrol until 2; to Jonah Raspberry Tupelo, 14 ice cream bars; to Karlyn Simcox, apple juice with ice; to Tatiana Bryce, I hope I made you proud; to Noah Risley, triangular hash browns and a half gallon of whole milk; to Robert, I give all my platonic love, Singin’ in the Rain, and the courage to have the sexual coming-of-age experience you deserve (lol this one came true). Finally, to Ani, my best friend, my Iris, the reason I keep coming back: I leave, to you, my everything.
I, Skippy VIII, of mellow mind and babelike body do humbly bequeath to Noah, an undisclosed room in Founder’s Home and a digested friendship bracelet, to Robert, five minutes, to Delaney, a pound of slime, to Nick, my interior decorating skills, to Eden, your own bedsheet and a pair of chopsticks, to Wilson, shower-time wake up calls, to Blazemaster, a highly competitive game of chicken, to Søren, an elusive bucket of wings and a treasure trove of unannounced hugs, to Braden, my cat and a healthy dose of toxic masculinity, to Dayne, a dog leash and some literal grab-ass, to Brooke, a loving father, here whenever you need me, to Teriyaki, bad jokes for dark times and the support of the Gay Battalion, to Billy, the same wavelength and a third of the NWO, to Spencer, la croix and sporkles, may they serve you well, to Nick’s RAG as a whole, shower supplies, to Shelby, a bossier Karl Marx, to Megan, boarding school stories and an infinite third year girls grind train, to Paul, a new Ponce City Market, untainted by Buckhead, to Henry, side conversations and trippy art, to Francesca the TA, more anime and Loss memes, to Maddie and Olivia, perfect handwriting, to Creighton, a water balloon, to Will, vomit cleaning supplies, to Maxx, hope for a better playlist, to Nathaniel, a lively GroupMe, to Sandy, the squat-n-screech strategy, to Big Tex, a nickname that actually matches your state and an army of third years, to Rory, subliminal messaging, to Anna, hanging out in Chattanooga, to Sadie, twinkle fingers during Owl City, vapor manipulation skills, and a spilled can of La Croixto Asa, dining hall hacks and the death of Ben Shapiro, to Shea and Greyson, government housing and familial love, to Abhi, aggressive strategies, to Quinn, four of the best RAGs ever, to Allison, political pillowtalk and 20 minute naps, to Admin, misunderstandings, two doggies, some paint, a few symbolic articles of clothing, random songs, and a whole lot of thanks.
With that, I’m throwing in the towel. To anyone I overlooked, I’m sorry for not writing this sooner, you can all have a hug and some aloe water. This place has taught me a whole lot, and has helped me grow as a person. I hope to have given back even a billionth of what this community has given me. Thanks to my instructors, mentors, friends, and comrades for 12 amazing weeks over four wild years. Keep being amazing, stay in touch! If you’re reading this, I love you.
I, Sandy Baker, of kuntry mind and bug body hereby bequeath the following: to Will the biggest smile, laugh, 7 stellar model poses, IHOP, an interesting video watching session, and my nike shorts, to Reece the iconic purple dress, the shortest man award, and a carton of goldfish, and some hope that you’re actually asleep , to Creighton a hug every time you enter a new room, a marriage at the age of 40, the pink hat, the penguin frisbee, spidey senses, oh and Emma Nations;) , to Jackson the Friends t-shirt for the spirit of home you gave me, to Billy vanilla fro-yo, a set of ores, my constant care, your shoes, and the pig protector, to Dayne all the love the world has to offer, the best 3 years of friendship and hugs, coffee, “babe”, Mr. Brightside, and a closed door, to Caroline nutz, nutz, and more nutz oh and some fucking more noodz and GREEN, YELLOW, RED LIGHT, to Henry your grandma's amazing cookies, to Delaney all the eyeshadow palettes the world has to offer and some less complicated boys, to Maximilian endless swimsuits with pink elephants and veggie straws , to Cackett the word y’all, the middle part,a bark, and that ass we can’t find, to Austin a frisbee along with instagram and snapchat, to Darren the pimpiest pimp, anything and everything St. Marks, “sure” “okay”, and also a sticky hand, to Tristan 13 less rice purity points and some less steroids, to Becky the worlds fucking biggest dog bed for the worlds fucking ugliest dog (Coco), to Helen a Texas flag risen above all other state flags ALL HAIL MOTHERFUCKING TEXAS vsco C1 filters and gluten free poptarts, “look at her go”, thick body;), oh and do i have anything on my ass?, to Abhi some wings for being the best wingman, some eye drops for you always being high, a pepper, a whip, constant joy for all you’ve given me, and a LAB, to Asa a punishment in the corner, to Josephine my favorite daughter award, to my kiddos no incest, to Eden vegan wings all day every day and 5 am trips to B Duke, to HOTF jolly ranchers and Ryan Gosling, to Skippy (Bo) a never ending supply of leashes, to Spencer the name Preston, to RORGY the fucking best friend group ever with our fucking 24/7, to Rohan many girls’ numbers, to Michael fucking Hammer many memories I wish we could’ve made and vineyard vines for life, to Flamers a habanero pepper and flame for every heckboi we find, to spiCY a smile for all the late night convos and my endless love for my family,MY TRACTOR, and my accent, to Paul the name little bitch, i give you Fran (only because you live in Atlanta, take care of her precious soul), nail polish, all the junk food in the world, and “great” eating advice, to Owen, Jacob, and Christian a 4th year at East as a complete family, to Fran all the Argentine boys the world has to offer, Cole Sprouse, brownies brownies and more brownies, the best cousin award, some feet, and a fourth year with memories I wish I could share with you, to Joseph and Nick the biggest hug I can give for how you made the last 2 years great, to 4th year girls and Søren the plastic styrofoam mic for our great fantastic tipsync win, to Søren drag queen makeup and a certain someone;), to Sadie constant communism and a successful t-shirt designing career, to Noah the best hugs ever, to the bois group poops and late night showers, to Rory a quack, our celluloid vision seats in the corner, facetime rant calls, the orchid thief, chicken train, bike rides in Hilton Head, Emma Stone, pillsbury doughboy, a frisbee for our well deserved frisbee spot, warm cookies, many tears and hugs on the floor of the Nelson Music Building, and an endless friendship that I will forever remember, and then to Wilson a huge teddy bear, inappropriate touching, endless travel bucket list, my seaside shirt, 6,000 steps, life stories at 3 in the morning, wildaddy, a sock, finger game, an unlimited amount of plane tickets to bainbridge, the better oscar, iced mochas, and the amazing memories we made now and the ones we will make in the future, to my whole friend group 1629479283 offenses, to all tipsters you guys are my family and i leave to you a big cuddle puddle and a life full of success i couldn’t survive life without y’all
I, Kendall Howard, of nigger mind and nigga body, bequeath the following to those throughout my four years at TIP: to Sadie, thankfulness for the perfect mind and body idea; to Abby, plane tickets to North Carolina to come see me because I miss you and plane tickets to wherever that Isabella girl is now so we can see what she is up to; to Talia, lots and lots of “books” and love and support for your future; to Lily, the joys of benching, an appropriate response time for snapchats (and by proxy snapchat response), an unlimited supply of diet coke, free trips to North Carolina to come visit me!!, and love that goes to the ends of the fucking earth; to Will, Frisbees for your ultimate frisbee pleasure, denial of leaving tip, a bucket to cry all your tears in, chanclas, bad pornos, and four wonderful, beautiful years of friendship and hopefully many more; Adeline, a $1 gift card to Waffle House because you never go with me and lots of mirrors to look at your sexy ass snack-looking self; Swaggy P, 3 for $4 condoms from Whole Foods, all the ideas in your will, and non-hipster clothes that expresses my deep appreciation for you; Alexis, Taylor Swift tickets, the ability to send two streaks a day, and eternal (rac)coon hunting; Caroline D., books on Python, MySQL, and R and the biggest hugs anyone has ever given to anyone else because you deserve them; William Porter “Quacker” Quantz, a warehouse full of 3D printed ducks; Mac - a new phone for every time you look at because your fucking hot as H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS and a recording of yourself saying “I love you” to me because it’s practically the best thing in the entire universe; Tupelo, lots of “scandy” things in your future; Hannah, trips to the more superior Carolina state, watermelon tropicana and all other watermelon flavored products in the store; Ronald, keys to every room on campus, a job at Papa’s Niggeria and all the power rangers (the actual ones even the one that went to jail for that thing with the samurai sword); Grrck (Garrick), negro juice and 99 bottles of kombucha on the wall; Richard, I'm giving myself singing lessons for me so that I don’t feel so bad in comparison to you and all the love I could give you traitor who didn't come back; Maggie, a time machine so that you could experience more years of TIP (and more time with me!!!) and better body parts cause they all seem to be broken; Emma, the lusciousness of lesbianism and all future exploits involving ultimate frisbee; Søren, 28 reasons to hug a black guy today; Noah, nothing you fucking whore (i'm kidding I bequeath a million different onesies and cans of sporcle water, live your best life bitch); Houston, actually learning things in Computer Skills and ketchup; Louise, a planet full of chocolate, appropriate response times for a text or snapchat, secret meetings on campus, and thankfulness for the love and wisdom; AJ, visitation rights to go see the cult and ALL THE HUGS I COULD POSSIBLY GIVE BECAUSE I MISS YOU; Samuel, chairs so you’ll have a place to sit next year at tiplore when your legs get tired and another sassy third year friend; Skippy, a freezer full of frozen turkeys and audio tapes of the soothing Ted Bundy for sleeping; Fiona, the unflattering feeling you get whenever someone says “I feel like” and keys to the basement; Taylor, every vine known to man and a collection of drag queens of your choosing; Andrew Lee, a different fanny pack for every day of the week; the Saucy Boys, your own personal juul rooms with toilets inside so you can shit anytime you want; Talley, a $20 refund for doing a world a service by paying that kid to shut up and lots of love bitch; Caroline Smith, a better moment between the two of us instead of that one time I tried to get that pizza at dinner and I accidentally flipped it over and you were there and also just love; Reece, a finished Vermonster; Allison, the worst hand of Cards Against Humanity ever and a better place to live than Mississippi; Becky, an iPod that has the ability to only play Mr. Brightside; Henry, blue balls; Kevin, a more comfortable water bottle;Druve, horrible rooms to live in for your future years in TIP; Michael, slim thicc queen Mrs. Incredible; Big Tex, pants to never keep on; Ellen, a wig to immediately rip off you; Anna B., a bucket full of water balloons; Abi, an unlimited supply of Mac and Cheese; and Karissa, peanut butter for your vegan self. Thank you to those mentioned and not mentioned in my will for making the last four years memorable.
I, Ronald Cornelius Doe, Jr., of Power Rangers mind and silently creeping body will to the following people the following items:
To Rainmaker Reagan and the Sugar Bombs, a love for Nutella, a hatred for AXE, the phrase SIC NASTY, and the start to a life-changing 4 years; to Big Daddy Andrew and his RAG, all the PG-13 questions and a questionable relationship with Joseph’s RAG; and to Henry and the Saussy Bois, no-pants-allowed juul rooms for all our high/low's and ass-eating, and an amazing end to a 4 year long journey. To Mireya, a love that fluctuates between that of mother/son and goddess/worshipper, to Louise, a world free of senseless bug slaughter and filled with chocolate; to Justin, a bigger closet to fit more of your epic fashion sense; to Matthew, shoes that are worth more than my life; to Ben and Timothy, a good game of Cripple Frisbee; to Caroline D, nights spent scaring you in your room to Natalie, a shared love for and taste in anime, and to Josie, infinite cod.
To Shytle, a never-ending love and appreciation, a life supply of diet Coke and frozen yogurt, and the title of “the White Girl;” to Kendall, position as CEO of Papa’s Niggeria and all the lemonade in the world; to David, all the Scribblers in the world, all the love leftover from the White Girl, a sensual kiss on the cheek every Tuesday, and my resignation as your straight ally (I’d probably go bi for you); to Noah, every variation of the title “daddy” (especially “non-binary chicken parent”), and some of the best hugs on the market; to Reece, a love stronger than that I hold for members of my biological family and an almost hidden wokeness; to Henry, all the memes and grind trains the world has to offer; to Blackburne, a friendship that should have begun in Year 1, all my musical talent, and an ass to spank whenever you need it; to Tiatia, all the love a son can give to his mother; to Wilson, all the room parties I can manage; to Billiam, a strange relationship that I can’t tell is great respect or love for each other; to Garcia, the bus back from Palace Pointe; and to Tristan, the bill for my glasses.
To Brooke, a promotion to being tied for my favorite Greenie; to Brianna, the memes leftover from Henry and being tied for my favorite Greenie; to Joseph and Garrick, the most love and pride that a father can bestow upon his children, as well as being tied for my favorite Greenie; and to Nelson, the hope that you never change.
To next year’s orange lanyards, the rebellious spirit carried within this passing class; to TiP’s Negro TiPsters, the knowledge that you are all kings and queens, and the request that you represent the 2.5 of us who cannot be with you next year well; to all the RCs I liked, my apologies for all the rules broken; to all the RCs I disliked, I have zero regrets for everything.
Most importantly, to every TiPster I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and even those I didn’t, I leave a set of open arms for hugs and a lack of personal boundaries to enjoy your room as though it were mine.
I, Jules Gittin, of mentally unstable mind and decent body, hereby do bestow my possessions onto the following people.
To The Breakfast Club I give a 8:10 meet up time, my Duke East experience, and the ability to watch the World Cup on a TV and not on a phone at breakfast. May you use your gifts wisely and take them as proof of my appreciation for you gave me much friendship and very happiness <3.
To Cellular Divisions I give Jules; to Wren’s RAG I give the gift of friendship and food; to Taylor I give my Anastasia Modern Renaissance palette, prunes, and tables that are floors; to Ry I give more prunes and love <3; to Alexis I give my experience with broken feet; to Alex I give my number - ya girl is pretty much a professional therapist and I’m here if you need me; to Abby I give Cards Against Humanity and people who listen to The Antlers; to Audrey I give T-poses for dayz, my motherly support, and my bossy attitude; to Sam I give my Batman cape, Justice League shirt, a copy of all the movies in the DC Cinematic Universe, and popcorn so burnt it looks like someone Jules-ed in the bag; to the other Sam I give Kermit puppets, friends, social skills, ½ of my tea collection, and a picture with me for Zoe, Emily, and Natalie. You Sams can figure it out.
To Rebekah I give my one (1) BTS album, my cologne, desserts, coffee, and clothes fit for NC weather; to Caroline I give poppy seeds, fried chicken, Whataburger, the spirit of Texas, and the Texas pledge; to Ruhee I give Republicans, hair ties, and the Presidency. Thank you so much for being here for me. I am so very lucky to have found all of y’all and I hope by the time that this is printed I’ll have the guts to tell you in person but honestly I may be sobbing too much.
To my favorite roomie, Mollie, I give all of my clothes,½ of my tea collection, more free time, a special edition of Pet Cemetery signed by Stephen King, and granola bars with nuts. Meeting you was low-key fate. I mean who else in this camp has 6 siblings?? Anyways, I was incredibly scared when I got here on the 10th, but once I met you I instantly felt so much better. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to share a room with for 3 weeks.
To all the people who made me not regret coming back this year I give a giant hug and thank yous out the wazoo. There are so many of you that made this year so much better than last and made me feel so accepted. I truly appreciate all of y'all and wish I could name you all but if you’re reading this and want to collect your hug you know where I am.
I, Alexis Victoria Paige Lowe, of Swiftie mind and thot body do hereby bequeath the following to Samuel Dobson (Samantha Thotson): we've been together for three years now. I'm so thankful we met. I almost love you more than my real siblings (let's not lie I love you more than them). I leave you every amazing memory we've made. From singing our songs as we walked back to class at Davidson to having Fanta poured on your head to making each other thot jewelry; Phinona Walsh: A better name, great pasta, and the wait for a NCC new song. You helped me survive this year by actually replying to my texts. I can wait for this year's conversations. Come visit Vandy soon!!; Kendall Howard: Literally just the best music in the world (Taylor Swift obviously), vines, and a really cool 3-D duck. Also sitting in your doorway as you played trashy music (none of the HSM are good) and argued with Paul (still crying BTW); Allison Yingst: The small amount of patience I have left ("I can fix that") there is 0 chance I would've made it through macro without you being there to exchange Jim from the office looks. I feel like I've known you my whole life and I'm so thankful I met you. You should definitely think about getting all of Post's face tattoos.; Sadie Siegel: swamps and hooves. I will walk the way to Chattanooga if you come to visit; Hannah Salame: some actually good sweet tea and waterproof mascara for all the times we cried; Ethan, Sakemiller, Andrew, and Chris: me finally necking myself (since I always saw you guys being stupid). You guys drove Allison and I to the near edge, but you made macro amazing. I miss you guys so much; Yanni Raymond: your class t-shirt idea since it was hecking amazing; Statistically Speaking and First Year RAG: my love for TIP which you all helped me gain. I'm so thankful for every single friend I made at Wake Forest. I love you all to death; Idil: every meme we've ever sent, you're are one of my favorite people in the entire world. Without you George definitely would have gotten me; Computer Skills: some great hecking ducks, Hattie Haines: mediocre desserts; Jules: your scooter which I actually need now; Paola Barraza: me actually learning how to pronounce your names; Shannon Felder: 2liter Sprite and the best hair in the entire world; Ana Taylor: being weightless as I lifted you into the air; Taylor Krick: a quieter alarm so Kate doesn't murder us; Paul: I feel like I've known you forever. I can't to see you again. I leave you all the arguments you had with Kendall; Yem: a cleaner room and me actually being quiet after lights out; Modern Law: all our freaking great songs and RADICUS; Kate Dickson: a better team (GO VOLS); Alabama/Seitz: just your real name; Abi Lowry: Abu. I can't believe we will never see each other again; J.P. Braunfisch: tickets to a real football game (Go Rocky Top!); Teachers/TA: a smarter me (I'm sorry for all my dumb answers!); Maggie Gehring and Caroline Dowell: every time you taught me to love myself. You were my favorite 4th years ever; Karissa Korman: a better state since we both know just how trash Tennessee is (even if Wagon Wheel mentions it); Ellen Crawford: a real modeling career since you are definitely pretty enough to have one; to every 3rd, 2nd, and future tipster: every beautiful memory you will make at your real home. I leave you an admin I know you will rebel against, all the dances that don't seem like a big deal until it hits you just how short they are, and every friendship you make that will last your entire life. I love all of you with my entire heart.
I, Ry/Rye/Rhy “who the fuck is ryan” Luna, of gay-bi lizard mind and exotic body, hereby bequeath: to Elliot, more late night conversations, ice skates, and hugs for your guinea pigs; to Lizzie, hannah montana; to Finn Buecker, the pride flags in space, all the hair dye, and the best here and queer attitude; to Adrea, bi solidarity, emo memes, and a white beanie; to Richard, exactly 1.29 for when your first single finally comes out; to Lee, a Cheeto Trump pin, white girl line dancing, my honest hips and Latina ass (have fun traveling through the dining hall and any other narrow passageway now), percy percy percy percy, and neverending macarenas until you notice; to Talley, a les “bee” an sticker, a spelling bee trophy, and a nut Danny Devito made me bust; to Ashley, mother’s day cards, bohemian rhapsody, a cold and broken waluigi, and a million i love and appreciate you’s so you never forget; to Caroline, big dick energy, 7 chords, fruit adjacent water, all the blessings from thor the god of lesbians, vegan wings, an oi not la croix pin, the Mii theme macarena edition, the best lesbian dad outfits, your mum, my mum, everyone else’s mum, and an adulterous dolphin; to both Caroline and Lee, way too many apologies, the c in whoosh and the e in spoder, walks on adf day to take on me, well-proportioned boobies, one more trip to the med room, and adoption papers because you guys are the best parents I’ve ever had; to Jules: tom Hanks, matt Damon, and vin diesel, free raccoon makeup whenever you need it, my assorted collection of floor prunes, a free razor scooter, a bouquet of Drake flowers, yeethaw, more hugs involving the word no homo, the umbrella in the word gay, and a coupon for unlimited sleepovers where we’ll screen nothing but the percy Jackson movies (also heads up Netflix might be making a series for that soon so i am making you watch that with me); to Noah, a they/them pronouns pin and nonbinary solidarity; to Lily, gay privilege and a coolest white girl-mom trophy; to Allison, more sleep and a promise to not have another temporary coma on our floor; to Rohan, my shoulder aka the second most erotic ball and socket joint, bcoitus, the Merrimack Webster definition of a date, a robot to tell you you’re cool and valid everyday next term, and a pair of vanishing fishnets; to Andrew, naked square dancing, a mega slut squat thot drop, my gams and all their pain, and a fork for orange consumption; to Joseph, emo music because you're an edgy hoe, a pass to invent a single racism, moonrise kingdom, the title of pretty fly for a white guy and fakest toy story 2 fan, a lifetime supply of invalidity, pockets, and awkwardness, a tube of barely used lipstick, :// and a snapback; to Zoe, all the perfect eyeliner wings, a pair of fountain sandals, and the promise to be more courageous and eat ramen in the most asmr way whenever possible; to Abby Seeskin, a billboard on your local highway saying MARRY ME; to Delaney, more patience and daddy; to Sam, slightly less violent sharpies, a cardboard box helmet, and all the chris’; to Audrey, twenty one pilots: extreme country music edition and everything yellow; to Abby, a billion toothy smiles and the first and only chapter i’ve actually read of the raven king; to Judy, gay; to Ronald, introductions for all 3 of your identities, and an invitation to talk about power rangers whenever, as well as a token campus minority pin; to Ronald and Delaney, my key to the juul room and 30 extra minutes for dinner; to rc nick, YEET; to wake forest term 1 first year, that horrible patrick stump sign; to creative writing, door eating; to spoken spuds, all the potato foods and no preludes; to cellular [redacted], milkshakes that I will be drinking, the difference between a blackout and a nap, a singular abandoned child, equipment that actually functions, and a 6 minute pie scene; to caky, i’d leave you something but first i have to ask if that’s allowed (also bronze haired babies and i’m gay); to Nelson, the gazebo; to Danielle, all my WHEAT, best straight award, one minute for nonblacklisted pda, and a jar of galaxy ramen; to the Denny’s squad, macarenas in the car, ketchup, and shameless targeting; to Jason; a lower score on the rice purity test and a question: am i straight, to Lee again, SWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW,M; and finally, to everyone else I’ve met, my love in the form of platonic gay hugs and hand-holds.
Lastly, to the past greenies, thank you for having nelson; to Grace Arents, thank you for being the best first year suitemate, (almost maybe pretty much) every year since then temporary roommate, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had both from and outside of tip: we only had those 3 weeks first year and a maybe a week if you combine the rest of our days after that, but I’d still follow you to the ends of the earth; to Rohan, Caroline, and Lee— thank you for reminding me how to breathe again and a promise to meet again soon (also an extra thanks for that bubble wrap--xanax who???? idk her).
Blazemaster Reece Overholt
I, Blazemaster Reece Overholt, of zesty mind and elongated body, hereby leave in loving compassion: to admin; a jar of Skippy peanut butter, to Wilson; a garden hoe, to That Ginger Eden; a (vegan) flower, to Ben; a rubix cube and deck of cards, to Trinity; Naren’s chocolate balls, to Garrick; straight FIRE, to Sam; wet... w e t... WET dreamz, to Helen; the state of Texas, to someone quite Sandy; a sand castle, to Joseph; a ‘Best Dad’ mug, to Nick; scissors to cut people, to Abhi and Freedom; my frisbee physique, to Mani; freedom, to RJ; an extra 3 inches, to Nick and Spencer; dicks, to Kendall; the Sistine Chapel, to Max; a massive surfboard, to Tristan; an adult XS pink shirt, to Rory RawryXD Roary the Racecar; sleep, to Caroline; the hat off of my head and nOodz, to Willy; a water gun disguised as a fish, to Henry and Michael; beautiful music, to Delaney; a horse, to Skipdaddy; a cool kid toy ;) and endless foot rubs, to Sadie; two doggies, to Noah; a chicken egg, to Will; booty shorts from Will in this will, to Creighton; top shelf gravy, to Ronald; all my Tuesgay love, to Cash; trash, to Alex; a wrongly pronounced last name, to Dayne; some garden hose hoes, to Josephine; my Heritage, to Bobert; mac with no cheese, to Big Tex; Claud clouds, to Christian; every single nut you busted on the shower floors, to Becky; the best middle name, to bhunTHICCa squad; too many notifications, to the greenies; a great next year or two, to the fourth years; all the love in my soul and best wishes.
We’ll see each other again, love you guys.
i, allison yingst, of sloppy mind and missippi body (hell yee), do hereby bequewhatever to: the skype thotties, i love yall i hope we keep this up for a hot minute. to kendall, a life. to sadie, my love and commitment, through sickness and in health. to boden, four hours and 6 minutes ish. to lily, single lyfe!!! to reece, talking at actual duke instead of just skype. to robert, 5 minutes. to noah, all the karlyn posts in the world. to mac, like meeting in person???? to alexis, your "secret" relationship with dr kane. to hannah salami, read my actual will im done
I, Rory Smith, of un-confusing, un-complicated mind and positive body (image), bequeath the following: to Creative Writing ― my first look at what would become home; to Celluloid Visions ― a ticket to see TiP School Musical on Broadway; to Big Screen, Little Screen ― my undying love for the Orchid Thief; to PILF ― all of Cody's Intellectual Downpours; to the anti-KAB committee ― the fucking piano room and no tolerance for people; to Forearm ― a returned dining hall wink; to Jared ― a Duke wristband and a promise to one day come back to Pittsburgh; to Noah ― an actual, non-side hug; to Henry ― a daily "what's up how's your day?" and hopes that one day the day will be good; to Robert ― a re-screening of the Good Burger with my favorite third/fourth wheel; to Soren ― a full moon at which you can scream and countless 9:30pm's; to Joseph ― THR and a second-term visit; to Nick (RC) ― term fucking 2; to Reed ― my nose and the backseat of your car; to Billy ― Bear Necessities and vague Davidson memories; to Nick ― grapefruit La Croix and a Kahoot dub; to Max ― undying motherly love and guidance, an adult Gumby costume, and another Kahoot dub; to Tristan ― a solid slap in the morning and cookies and cream; to Reece ― a seventh-grade wink from across the Davidson dining hall and a fucking lit 420 celebration; to Michael ― a roomy balcony, a bicycle, and lessons on how not to get in trouble for literally everything; to Michael and Ani ― two more weeks; to Abhi ― an iced mocha with whole milk, earplugs so you won't have to listen to my rants, and an apology for my kabby tendencies; to the OG bois/THR ― Red Solo cups complete with games of pong, as well as the fourth year that 3 of you didn't get; to the Generation2 bois ― tape masks and a reminder that we're not complicated; to Fran ― my toes and the fourth year memories you deserved; to Caroline ― almonds, peanuts, brazil nuts, walnuts, cashews, pecans, hazelnuts, chestnuts, pistachios, macadamia nuts, deez, and my nuts, and countless Eagle Springs sleepovers; to Eden ― room #121, everything soy, and another KS visit when i actually have eyebrows!; to Asa ― a flannel and love for Spirit Week; to Wilson ― my comfortable grey Tate bed (shameless Crate and Barrel promo), a bonus year of high school cuz you love school SO MUCH double sophomore, ammo for your gun, a manatee, and a squid hug; to Creighton ― all of my left eye tears, a longer attention span, Bai Bubbles at 4am, and the best backup-backup that a boy could ever ask for; to the OG Rorgy ― random spontaneous hugs justified by sort-of-ish eye contact from across the room and Cabo trips; to Delaney ― more questionable lumps, sand in your kitchen, and the Postmated strawberry green tea; to Dayne ― cut abs, dirty chai with light ice, the 5 Rules of Rory, another strike, accepting the compliment, and the mOvE (you know the one); to Becky ― tickets to Souly Had's next concert, a prettier dog, $32 (update: i brought it down to $10), and a "fUcK ofF!!!1!!" featuring getting knocked out by a pillow; to the OG flame gang ― clearing our plates at the first East dinner; to Helen ― my last blackberry Izze, a 9-point purity score drop, the "HEY WHORE" greeting, more words in your vocabulary besides "good" and getting thicker; to Sandy ― warm cookies, the send to my noOdZ, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, a lifetime of friendship, another year of class together, and a New York penthouse where we'll grow up together; to the Flamers ― Ben and Jerry's ice cream, the roof of 19 Gunnery Lane, bathroom parties, watching the sunrise together, and our legacy; to my bhunTHICCa fam ― my middle-of-the-night loopy snaps, 52 consecutive selfies, and a large bowl of noodles; to spiCY ― my secret stash of cucumbers, my illiteracy, plane tickets to RDU, and the back table of the Marketplace; to the TFB ― Sunday morning movie "nights" and an alcove of memories, if only for one year; to 2A ― my first; to the Fourth Years ― everyone's favorite gazebo, Doggy Doggy, and one last American Pie; to Staff and Admin ― knowledge of traditions, a longer word limit, and respect for campers, to Bassett Residence Hall ― my memories and love for nine incredible weeks; to Davidson ― a cartwheel on the Sacred Grass; to Duke East ― three years of tradition, Cheerwine, and a home five miles away from home; to all of my greenie pals ― a promise to cherish every moment that you're given and to make the most of every day, because twelve weeks isn't nearly enough; to Duke TiP ― a place in my heart to the end of time, because home is wherever I'm with you.
Ani (Anjoli) Russell
I, Ani Russell, of grateful mind and ethereal body, do bequeath the following: To Noah Risley (Beb!)- my love for political science and the movie Kill Your Darlings Reece Overholt- the ability to experience multiple orgasms, “Red Rover, Red Rover, Ani fell over!” Søren Creecy- my fucking respect and value for viewing life from another’s perspective (you make me a better advocate) Billy Lockhart- my first interactions with competitive mock trial and memories of Davidson Abhi, Sandy, Rory, Creighton- time I wanted more of Dayne Ware- rope bunny status Robert Kane- ONITNB Michael Hammer- the third floor kitchen and the card I only get to play once Sadie Siegel- my future that you infinitely grace and my unsurpassed ability to feel at home with a person
To Alumni: Thanks to: Jonah Tupelo- thank you for the TupeHOE crown- a symbol of confidence, a strong sense of identity, and an unwavering sense of what’s right Karlyn Simcox, William Meynardie, Don Donelson (DonDon!), Carl (Karl), Mock Trial CTA PCult
to TiP: No measure of time with you will be enough, both cause and effect of why we’re a part of each other. I’ve experienced the most potent and genuine form of happiness of which the human condition is capable. My perspective and the beauty and love you’ve graced me with affects every aspect of my life, and for that, I accredit you with what it means to be grateful.
I, Danielle Curry, of eager mind and exhausted body hereby bequeath my (un)earthly possessions to those that remain.
To Andrew, I leave clean vine compilations, breakfast-skip dates, and the care of our two second year children. To Lee, I leave WHEAT, intricate pen tattoos, and the promise of a billion letters until you get a phone To Ashley, I leave sign language, the flair of TiPsync, and a million hugs To Ry, I leave a restraining order from all oranges and the personal background of trolley problem guy To Caroline, I leave La Croix and the hopes that we may actually have inside jokes one day? To my class, I leave Arnold Wattles, the #willingsuspensionofdisbelief, and “TiPster no.....” To Carolina, I leave ancient Taylor Swift songs and amazing personified suitcases To Kaylin, I leave that one version of “Never Gonna Give You Up,” the courage to destroy terrible boys, and a million bullet journal stickers. To Adrea and Kaylin, I leave the Legacy book to pass on and make a relic. What is a legacy? It’s you.