Jesus (Kansas)

From the archives of TiPWiki, the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Jesus is the nickname of Kyle Olson, who, at University of Kansas '03 had quite a number of followers (disciples) and a series of proverbs. Kyle was given this nickname for his Jesus-like appearance.

Jesus ownz! (Chaz; Saint Michael of the Order of the TIP...or something like that...actually...I think I was John...meh)

During his first year at TIP Kyle did not carry the name Jesus. He first roomed with a fellow TIPster named Dave, who with Kyle's helped created the Cult of Cornelius Christ, which focused on the worship of a crucified spider monkey. The following year, Kyle donned the name Jesus due to his long hair, beard, and god-like good looks and intellect. From this name he formed another cult, that revolved around the worship and following of himself. His followers were called disciples, saints, cardinals, or pope, based upon rank. Each rank was gained by earning tongues of flame, each three gained one level of rank. Punishments were dealt with Silver Coins, each worth 10 pieces, so that upon recieving 30 pieces of silver, a follower was demoted or expelled from the order, should he have no further to fall. The cult had over a dozen members, each of which earned flames by doing bitch-work for the Lord, as well as certain other....tasks. Notable members included the first saint, Thomas the Martyr, Pope , and other prominent members , , and .

Another familiar face related to Kyle/Jesus, was a monkey, this time a cousin of the famed Cornelius, , a monkey with a large penis that was sucked by a disciple in order to earn several tongues of flame.

A notable contribution of Jesus was the creation of several highly offensive duck tape pornography videos, in which various TIPsters were mock-violated by duck tape penises and the like. This videos were nearly seized by , but Jesus sent the pieces to his camera in seperate directions during the final dance, and the layed low in order to avoid detection. These videos are available from DarthLeviticus at AIM.

Another notable contribution was the creation of the first and only(known) Unnofficially official TIP card game. The rules were complex, the fun was extensive, and no one remembers how to play it now.

Jesus, while at TIP wrote over 21 Proverbs, to aid fellow TIPsters in their day to day lives.

The "What if Jesus was at Tip" song was written by Andrew Blumberg and his fellow TIPsters as a result of this cult.